Let’s be honest.

Do you secretly hate Valentine’s Day a little bit? Do you secretly hate it a lot?

If you’re single – it can be kind of depressing or make you feel more alone. If you’re in a relationship – it can sometimes be anticlimactic or disappointing even if you and your partner do celebrate it in some way.  

Whatever the case, and however you feel about Valentine’s Day, I want to offer you a beautiful alternative to feeling depressed, down or disappointed by Cupid this year.

Single or partnered, why not do something completely different this year? If you’re ready to change it up, I’ve got something for you!

This ritual is the perfect way to practice falling wildly in love with yourself this Valentine’s Day. Give it a try. Make a shift. Really flex your self-care and self-love muscles, and I promise you, it will make a difference in how you’re feeling.

Watch the video below to get my take on Valentine’s Day, all things REAL love and your Self-Love Ritual.


Take Care of You

Every year in the Real Love Revolution, we create a Self-Love Valentine’s Day Ritual. If you’re in a relationship and you still want to do something for your significant other, that’s great, do that too…but I want you to focus on the power of SELF-love this year.

When you practice self-love, you put out certain energy and vibration into the world and that attracts others who have similar energy or vibration. Having a healthy self- esteem means that you can draw healthy boundaries with ease and grace, you can speak authentically, and negotiate for your own needs.

If you have low self-esteem and you think you are not worthy of kindness, love or of being cherished, you will inevitably attract people into your life who agree with you. If you are in a relationship and insist on doing everything for yourself and don’t express your desires and preferences, you are basically training your partner to NOT step up for you. It’s tempting to lie to ourselves by brushing disappointments off as “no big deal.”  But the reality is that it IS a big deal. Your self-regard is directly impacting who you attract and what behavior you invite into your life.

What happens when we mindfully take actions to elevate our self-regard and our love vibration is pretty amazing. We actually learn how to make ourselves feel good. When we really prioritize ourselves and seek out things and experiences that bring us joy and pleasure for just for US…it’s a whole new level of being able to be really present and enjoy things.

Because we’re not enjoying it because someone else did it for us or gave us something… we’re reveling in the fact that WE did it.

There’s something incredibly empowering about the practice of actively and mindfully creating your OWN bliss. About not waiting around for someone else to do it for us.

Now we can set ourselves up for repeated disappointments in life (hello, V-Day, I’m lookin’ at you), or we can make a choice to do something different.

So if you’re sitting around with Valentine’s Day looming thinking…

“Why not me?” Or…”Sigh. Maybe next year” Or… “All I got is this stupid card”…

Then I want to invite YOU to take the bull by the horns and decide that you’re not doing that anymore. You’re going to do this instead:

Your Real Love Revolution Self-Love Valentine’s Day Ritual

Click here to download it now or just keep reading below…

Step 1: Journal

Give yourself intimate, alone time to write in your journal and really get in touch with your thoughts. Some questions to get you started:

  • What is it that would make you feel loved?
  • What currently makes you feel loved?
  • What is the kind of love that you want in your life?  What does that look like?
  • How do you want to feel in your relationship with yourself and with others?

Step 2: Create a Zen Den

Create a little sacred space for yourself, somewhere that you can sit often. Make it comfortable, cozy and part of your self-loving experience. Intentionally create a safe and comforting space just for you. Some ideas of items for your Zen Den:

  • Fairy lights
  • Candles (be safe!)
  • Essential Oils
  • A soft, fuzzy blanket or cushion
  • Your journal
  • Pictures of loved ones
  • Flowers, leaves or other natural seasonal items
  • Crystals
  • Plants

Step 3:  Plan Your Gift to Yourself

Enter your Zen Den space and using the inspiration and discoveries from your journaling exercise, decide what would be a beautiful Valentine’s Day gift to give yourself. It can be the smallest thing or the biggest gesture, but it’s all about you treating yourself with love and consideration. You have the power to make yourself feel good…do something that makes you feel the way you want to feel.

(Some ideas from past include: Having a luxurious bubble bath with candles and champagne, having a manicure and pedicure, buying some jewelry, getting a massage, buying yourself flowers, joining that gym class you’ve always wanted to, going out for dinner with girlfriends, having a day off just to yourself…)

Please share what you decide in the comments, on my social media, or if you are a woman in my amazing group of like-minded and like-hearted lady loves inside the Real Love Revolution private Facebook group (and if you’re not a member yet click here to join us! It’s totally free. 😉 I would LOVE to hear what you come up with.

You are it for me, I’m completely mesmerized by your potential to live a life that absolutely lights you up! If I can in any way be a part of that experience and be a kind of catalyst for you to live the life and have the relationships of your dreams, then that’s my dream. If you liked this episode today, if it does anything for you, if it inspired you, please share it, with someone you know will get some real value from it.

You Have the Power

All of the work that I do is based on my strong belief that self-love is the only path to all other healthy, fulfilling love. The intention of this ritual is to emphasize that it isn’t about someone else making you feel a particular way…it’s about taking responsibility for making yourself feel loved and supported. By doing this and raising your own vibration and self-regard, you put out energy that attracts similar energy.  

It is so important that you get your own relationship to yourself in order before you go out and spend money, time, and energy on trying to find fulfillment with another person. If you don’t figure out that self-loving relationship first, you might continue to attract unsatisfying experiences into your life.  

You have the power to make yourself feel loved – it’s not something that someone else withholds or bestows on you. When you really discover that truth and learn to love yourself, you start to attract people who agree with that high self-assessment…and you deserve to be truly, deeply loved.  

As always, take care of you.

XO, Terri

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  1. I’ve sent at least 2 questions and comments upon invitation and didn’t get any response. That’s totally ok because I get you’re really busy and wasn’t necessarily expecting a reply. I think it’s interesting though that you say you always respond because you’re so all about it.

    1. Kimberlea, my apologies that you reached out and haven’t had a reply. Your question is important but I don’t see where you wrote to me prior to this message. Could you please send it to support@terricole.com and we will take care of it?

  2. I so needed to read this today Teri. Thank you. I’m single & have been for quite some time. An ex popped back up and his inadequacy to communicate and only contacting me when it’s convenient is taking its toll on my emotions. I need to continue to put myself first and respect my feelings and know boundaries need to be made w him in order to move past this. I’ve allowed him to hurt me for way too many years internally

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}