There is a fine line between codependent behavior and caring behavior, and THAT’S what today’s show is all about.
Codependency can be quite the buzzword, but today we dive into what it really means.
Are you actually overstepping boundaries when you think that you’re being caring?
Feelings like resentment are awesome indicators that you might be engaging in “unhealthy helping”. I talk all about it and what you can do to feel better on today’s show.
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“There is so much power we have to change these tendencies, and a lot of times it really is just learned behavior. So you can unlearn it just as you learned it.” – Terri Cole
Show Notes:
- What is codependency
- How to know if you’re codependent
- How gender norms influence us
- What is unhealthy helping
- How to set boundaries
- The importance of negotiating for your own needs
“With codependency, eventually we end up feeling resentful because we in some ways voluntarily over-give and over-do.” – Terri Cole
Links Mentioned:
“The real key to understanding codependency and your own tendencies is understanding how much you need to be needed by others. How much of that “being needed” a part of your self-identity?” – Terri Cole
I just want to thank you for the information, as I just realized that I was in a relationship with a codependent. For years, I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t achieve the emotional intimacy I so desired with him, and I was left blindsided and broken hearted. Now it all makes sense because your description of codependency is exactly how he was with me. I feel like I can finally let go and forgive him and myself for all of it. So thank you so much.
Thank you for being here and for sharing your story. I am witnessing you with compassion.
This hit home with me. My wife said sometimes I remind her of the ground hog day scene where Bill Murray is studying His boss to get her to fall in love. She can sniff it a mile away. I’m aware it’s probably high functioning as you mention in other places. At work it has served me well and early in my marriage but it drives resentments in all areas of life or you owe me – “control.” I am aware of that on all fronts that it is not sustainable and does not foster an authentic/congruent life or freedom. Thanks for the tips and insights for recovery. It’s a breathe of fresh air. Thanks for teaming up with Jayson Gaddis. That’s how I found your work.
I’m so glad you’re here and you’re finding the video helpful to raise your awareness. I’m cheering you on.