toxic shame

Have you ever secretly felt like you are monumentally broken in some way?

This feeling can stem from experiences from childhood or young adulthood that you’ve buried or kept secret and although you may not talk about it, it is always there.

In this week’s Real Love Revolution video, I’m going to be talking about that deep-seated feeling of being broken, which is really the feeling of shame. I will be covering:

  • The difference between guilt and shame
  • What shame needs to thrive in your current life
  • How to rid yourself of shame
  • An exercise to heal old shameful experiences
  • The truth about how to heal from shame


Shame and guilt might seem the same but they are very different. Guilt says, “I think I DID something wrong,” and shame says, “I think I AM something wrong.” Shame is one of the lowest vibration emotions and if left unchecked will do deep damage to your self identity. Shame commonly stems from childhood experiences. Although most of us experienced things that made us feel temporary shame in childhood, toxic or chronic feelings of shame in adulthood usually originates from some kind of chronic abuse, neglect or degradation.

For shame to continue to thrive in adulthood secrecy, silence and judgment need to be in place. It can also be incredibly isolating as most people don’t talk about it. The antidote for shame is self-compassion and self-empathy – this is how those chains that bind you in shame are broken. Silence is what perpetuates shame. Being in a safe situation and making a heart connection with like-minded people allows you to share and be vulnerable. You suddenly aren’t alone in it anymore and the grip that toxic shame has had on you starts to loosen.

Negative self-talk, the inner mean girl, or your mafia mind, also must be shut down. It is common for your inner cruel voice to be the internalized voice of someone who was constantly criticizing and judging you in childhood. That voice isn’t even yours. We have to tell that inner mean chick to sit down, and shut up because you’re in charge now – not your fear mind. Self-compassion trains us to treat ourselves with the same kindness and care that we show to our good friends or a beloved child.

In the video above, I go through a visualization exercise that helps you heal from a past shameful experience. Click the button below to download and try this exercise now!

The truth about healing from shame is that you must provide for yourself the good, nurturing, encouraging parent that you might not have had. This means letting yourself make a mistake, and then being comforting not cruel to yourself. Treating yourself with, at least, the same amount of love, kindness and consideration that you would a friend. Because you deserve that love as much as anyone else. Tell yourself the supportive and loving things that you really need to hear. Words of positive affirmation from you to you are powerful. Self-compassion and empathy have the power to cure toxic shame.

Drop me a comment here on the blog and let me know what resonated with you after watching the video above.

And ladies, if you haven’t yet joined the Real Love Revolution waiting list to gain immediate access to our private FB group and receive a bundle of FREE gifts from , please click here to join us!

Thanks for watching, reading, and sharing!
And as always, take care of YOU.

Download Now

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  1. Thank you for this article. I can not watch the video on this computer at this time, but will do later today. What i am wondering is how long does in your experience does it typically take to change one’s identity once its been severely damaged by toxic shame.. using this method – and are there faster methods ? I am having trouble grasping that one could ever repair an deep core belief that others implanted, without the aid of another human being to help extract it, although i see numerous people blogging about how they did it themselves. i am having some cognitive dissonance here, thinking if we can think of us all being connected in the ethereal at a quantum level( which i know is a fact from personal experiences of psychic phenomena and the stuff with muscle testing ) , then that should indeed be possible to do it ourselves coz at some very high level of consciousness we are just talking to ourselves anyways.

    1. Dear Don,
      Thanks for sharing here with us. I think working with a skilled professional is the fastest and most efficient way to heal. I always believe healing is possible. Wishing you the best on your journey.

  2. This is the first time, I have been able to rewrite my script. The lump in my throat went away. FeeI calm. I gave them words they never gave me. Never thought to do this. Maybe this will break me through. I feel some space.

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}