toxic shame

Curing Toxic Shame on Hello Freedom with Terri ColeToday I want to talk about toxic shame: the difference between shame and guilt, what toxic shame does to us, and how to cure it. I was thinking about this topic in reference to my own life recently and want to tell you about how I truly learned what toxic shame is.

This kind of shame can often come from a traumatic experience, and it’s about feeling like you are not enough as a person, that you have such flaws that cannot be fixed. But that isn’t true! With a little hard work, you can tackle this feeling and leave toxic shame behind you.

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“There’s an element with toxic shame that is so much deeper – it’s not about behavior, it’s about who you are as a person.” – Terri Cole

Show Notes:

  • My own story of guilt and shame
  • What work you have to do after a traumatic experience
  • What shame really is
  • The difference between guilt and shame
  • What allows shame to thrive
  • What is the cure for toxic shame
  • How shame is different from toxic shame
  • Shame felt in childhood can leave a deep wound
  • How to free yourself from shame
  • What does self compassion look like
  • How shame and blame go together
  • A visualization exercise you can do

“What is the cure for toxic shame? It really is empathy, compassion, vulnerability.” – Terri Cole


Try This Visualization Exercise:

    1. Think of one of the most shameful experiences of your childhood.
    2. Think of what you wish someone had said to you at that time and write down that statement.
    3. Imagine someone you respect and admire saying those words to you.
    4. Take those words of comfort into your heart.
    5. Say those words out loud to yourself.

“We need love and kindness in our early life and in our entire life.” – Terri Cole

Links Mentioned:

You have to replace the self criticism with self kindness.” – Terri Cole


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