I think everyone has a slightly different definition of karma.
There are phrases like, “Karma is a bitch,” which to me implies wishing bad things on “bad” people because you believe they deserve it. Deepak Chopra teaches The Law of Karma or Cause and Effect which states; Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind . . . what we sow is what we reap. And when we choose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of our karma is happiness and success.
This is a definition that makes sense to me personally.
Many years ago Vic and I were betrayed by a close friend in a business deal.
It was not a situation we saw coming and we were stunned, hurt and shocked for the first few months after the incident. As time went on, the situation became legal and we had a choice to make, we could try to recoup our financial losses (which were substantial) or we could try to recoup our financial losses plus bring a criminal case against our former friend. With no hesitation we both rejected the idea of a criminal suit. Our lawyer did not understand but we did not care.
How would this person, with a family and small children, being in jail benefit us?
It wouldn’t.
We did not want revenge only restitution. (Which never came.)
That situation taught us many things about ourselves, our marriage and our family.
The truth is that we had everything that matters; our health, each other and happy, healthy grown kids. I realized that if we had been forced to sell our home because of the money we lost, we would still have been OK.
That situation made me realize that what I choose to focus on will grow. So instead of focusing on feeling victimized or hating on the other party, we both focused on our profound gratitude for what was right in our life together.
You’ve all been hurt before because this is a part of life. You may have been wronged by a friend or a stranger. You all understand the pain that comes from being betrayed by another. You know the fear and anger that arises from being mistreated. You know the damage that words and actions can do.
It is what you choose to do after being injured by another that impacts your karma.
You may feel a desire to retaliate or lash back.
You could spend endless days crafting the perfect letter or speech you would deliver, if you ever saw that person again.
You may tell yourself that you have a right to be enraged, perhaps even a right to hate.
The truth is you have a right to feel however you feel. You also have a right to do (within accordance of the law) whatever you choose to do. Yet remember you sow what you reap. Every moment you focus on revenge is another moment of your life wasted. Trust me when I tell you,
FORGIVENESS is for the FORGIVER @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET}
When you act in alignment with love, love is what will come back to you. The same goes for hate, fear and revenge. Many people don’t recognize that being wronged does not give you a karma free pass for bad behavior.
I believe there is a universal moral code of ethics by which we all must abide. That code is based on love.
When you stray from love, no matter what the reason may be, you feel the effects. It may be guilt, anxiety, regret, loss and pain. Or you may stay forever trapped in a bitterness prison of your own design.
Today in honor of our conversation about karma, I invite you to commit to Deepak’s suggestions about living the law of cause and effect:
I will put the Law of Karma into effect by making a commitment to take the following steps:
1. Today I will witness the choices I make in each moment. And in the mere witnessing of these choices, I will bring them to my conscious awareness. I will know that the best way to prepare for any moment in the future is to be fully conscious in the present.
2. Whenever I make a choice, I will ask myself two questions: “What are the consequences of this choice that I’m making?” and “Will this choice bring fulfillment and happiness to me and also to those who are affected by this choice?”
3. I will then ask my heart for guidance and be guided by its message of comfort or discomfort. If the choice feels comfortable, I will plunge ahead with abandon. If the choice feels uncomfortable, I will pause and see the consequences of my action with my inner vision. This guidance will enable me to make spontaneously correct choices for myself and for all those around me.
I am always interested in your thoughts so please share your stories below of creating your own karma, good or bad. Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments. I look forward to learning more about you. May you align with good karma this week, keeping your side of the street clean. And as always, take care of you.
Love Love Love
Terri
*image courtesy of ihatethenewlayout
Great topic Terri. This is what helps me:
As a human being, it is so easy for me to bring up hateful or vengeful thoughts immediately after an argument or betrayal. What I DON’T do,usually,is act on these thoughts. Thankfully, I am getting better at being conscious of when these thoughts and feelings arise. I see them, feel them, take a step back and know that wrath will get me, nor the other person, nowhere. I remind myself that I can express myself without loosing my integrity or disrespecting the other. I remind myself, that I too, am not without “sin.” I remind myself that my energy is better spent focused on love. Life is much more joyous this way!
Kimberly, your insight is inspiring. Thank you for sharing your process and progress. Keep on the journey, may it only get brighter and better!
Hi Terri
I read your article about Karma … thank you, my life has turned up side down this year (work) I truly know how it feels to be hurt by others, so much so that I may exit out of my profession, that I so wanted to practice when I took up the study when our two boys where toddlers. I am what Doreen Virtue describes … A sensitive Earth Angel who walks through life being a caregiver to others, which is me to a tee however I have always been conscious of looking after the self. If we don’t know thy self how can we support or assist “others”. I have understood the laws of the universe (metaphysics) for many, many years now, I purchased Dr Wayne Dyer books back in the early 1990’s I still follow his infinite wisdom today, God bless the man along with Deepak Chopra. In my professional work ethic I incorporated the laws of kindness, compassion, empathy for the “other”, which truly did support my client group, what shuts this down however is the jealousy and criticism of others to the point where I am bullied and humiliated. The first time it happened was on my last practicum at university. As a student wanting to soak up as much knowledge as possible I experienced nasty professionals who were reluctant to allow me to learn from observation. When I completed Uni (mature age) I was fortunate to obtain employment in a Government department within walking distance from my home. It was a six month contract, most government department employ on that bases initially in the first year of service. My supervisor was not the most loveable, soft edge person, but hey I understand the “other” we are all different in the physical realm. I could cope with the demands of the job even though it is tough work (child protection) I was always up-to-date in my files etc. As a new graduate back then I did not realise that supervisors were supposed to support you on the job, discuss and mentor you through any problems etc. This did not happen and of course I didn’t make those enquires. She ended my contract giving no reason as to why … I left gracefully. Of course not far down the track I hear the women no longer works for the Department. I was not surprised, the same thing happened to the women managing the Student practicum business, she left the town all together. It happened again with being successful as gaining employment at another NGO agency it lasted 12 weeks, this job I experienced bad vibration/energy at the interview for the job, gut feelings(intuition) in the beginning told me that this may not be a good fit. However my husband basically applied some pressure … to take the job, so I did, and sadly this time two colleagues who I shared a small room with, collaborated with each other concocted and twisted a story with the supervisor who was very similar in nature/personality to the government department supervisor. Four years later at another NGO I am again hurt by the behaviour of others who just want me moved.
Terri why is it that I understand what the word “other” means. Why am I accepting of the other, yet they don’t accept me for my skills, strengths, gentleness, empathic holistic work ethic. Its not rocket science in being able to help the ‘other’ it takes patience, understanding, support, time to listen and love what your doing or achieving within your work.
I never wish karma on anyone but hey I have noticed it has consequences when others place karma onto the other … the work colleague? why are they in the profession of helping people if these persons create distress for their work members??? Know thy self…….
cheers for now, Mary
Thank you for sharing your story Mary. It can take much patience, understanding and support to help another. Luckily for you it seems as though this comes naturally. Continue caring in the way that you do, though never forget the importance of taking care of yourself. You matter and only you can control you. If you are feeling down because of work relationships, or for any other reason for that matter, turn your patience, understanding and support towards yourself.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha
You said something to the effect of “did you do everything right on your end”. Thankfully, I can almost always check that off as a yes, except when I think of times I’ve raised my voice at my children or have used a really sarcastic tone with them. I’ve apologized and explained that it was never their fault when I’ve yelled and that adults still have things to work on too. However, even though I know I’ve done more “right” than “wrong”, it’s hard to let go of when I’ve yelled at them. I wonder what kind of karma might be wrapped up in that? Not karma “to” me, but why did I do it and where in the heck did it come from… there have been times when I didn’t even recognize myself! Children really are the greatest teachers! That is my biggest question regarding Karma. Thank you!
Hi Nikki, Yes I agree that children can be some of our the greatest teachers. As far as not recognizing yourself when you yell at them, and where that anger or frustration may come from, know that it is normal to get frustrated and lose your temper once in a while. The fact that you are concerned about it tells us you are on course. I don’t think that having a bad moment with kids is really connected to karma i think it is connected to being a human instead of a God or an Angel. Certainly, looking back at your own childhood and how your parents or care taker disciplined you or how they handled their own frustration can shed some light on how you respond. It might be learned behavior. You are right to help your children understand that not only are they worthy of an apology but that adults make mistakes too. Be compassionate with yourself and them as you learn to understand and shift the way in which you communicate when stressed or frustrated.
Thanks for the post. This is a helpful articulation. I am wondering how you see or experience grace in context of the belief or law of “what you sow is what you reap”. There is no denying that is true, yet it also seems wanting that and limited when the source is always referring to human action.
Hi Jennifer, I believe that there is the gift of grace from a divine source that comes through not because of who we are or what we did, but simply because we are loved. So I guess this belief would take it outside of the driven by human choice category of Reaping and sowing and bring in more into the mystical or spiritual realm. Either way I am always aware of how loved I am and fateful for the grace I have been given. Thanks for your thought provoking question!
Mine is more of a question than a comment. How does one escape from the bitterness prison?
Hi! Thanks for your question. I actually wrote a post about just that, Free your Heart from the Bitterness Prison…. You can access it here –> https://terricole.com/forgiveness-frees-the-heart/ Let me know what you think
I can never understand why anyone would say Karma is going to get them.Clearly you are just waiting for bad to come upon someone which in turn will come right back to you.I always tell people to be careful of wishing bad Karma on people.Some people I know are waiting for Karma to get someone and only stressing themselves out in the process.
Thanks Kimberly. You’re right about that, waiting for karma to ‘get’ someone else is no way to live. Keep shining your light! Thanks for the comment