In my own life I have a few people whom I love that are Energy Vampires. EVs can be negative complainers who more often than not see the glass as half empty. They can be dramatic and exhausting. They might use guilt to get you to do what they want. You may wonder why I stay in these relationships. Someone being an energy vampire, does not mean they are evil or bad. An energy vampire is simply someone who requires a lot of energy to be around, and who you may feel drained by, after an extended period of time. I see most energy vampires as being positivity challenged. It is easy for them to focus on what’s wrong rather than on what’s right. How you respond and your own level of co-dependency dictates how negatively these relationships impact your life.
Most energy vampires are not trying to intentionally zap your energy. Their life experience and natural tendencies have created their relationship style. If you are in a relationship with an energy vampire, it is vital to accept that you cannot change their behavior. All you can do, is take care of you.
Energy vampires can be extremely caring, charismatic and loyal. Perhaps they are friends that you have had for years, or family that you’ve known all your life. Since these long term relationships are already in place, learning how to navigate them is a good way to preserve the relationship and your sanity!
Check out my top tips for protecting yourself and learning to manage energy vampires.
1. Practice an Energy Routine
My good friend Lara, and personal energy guru, has been practicing energy work for over a decade. Lara has helped hundreds of people restore and protect their energy. Using one of her incredible routines before (and after) any interaction with an energy vampire will help you feel protected and replenished. You can access her work here AND here!
2. Have a Game Plan
When connecting with an energy vampire, it is important to have a gameplan. This may mean you develop an exit strategy. Setting expectations beforehand can help you stick to this plan and honor your time and energy. Mentioning that you have 20 minutes to catch up on Skype, or an hour for lunch before your next appointment, can enforce clear and specific boundaries.
3. Don’t Overcommit
Energy Vampires thrive off other people. Once you give they tend to take, and then take more. You catch up over the phone one day and they most likely will be calling you for a favor the next. They need a lot from other people and usually are not afraid to ask for it. Knowing your boundaries and being unapologetic about them can help you keep a safe distance and not overcommit to anything that may be too draining.
4. Honor Yourself
Only you can know what is best for you. When dealing with someone who zaps your energy it is vital that you honor yourself first and foremost. Recognize your needs. If you’re feeling low energy it’s important to respect that and respond accordingly. Breaking plans or asking for a raincheck may be necessary if you’re just not feeling up to seeing or speaking with an EV.
5. See the Warning Signs
If you are in a new relationship with someone and they are exhibiting EV behavior, you might want to re-think. Below are a few tell tale signs from a Mind Body Green post written by Jen Nicomedes. Jen’s take is a little different than mine but her descriptions below are pretty spot on:
Energy vampires can be your family, friends, clients, colleagues, teachers, neighbors, lovers, or even strangers. And they come in all types…
- There is the blamer, who lays blame on everyone else without ever taking any responsibility.
- The guilt trippers use shame to get what they want.
- Jealous bees can never genuinely feel happiness for anyone else.
- Then there are the insecure ones, who pull others down to their level of low self-esteem.
- The fun haters seem unable to embrace joy. The bullies stomp on the little guys to elevate their egos.
- The Debbie downers, the whiners, the short-tempers, the gossipers, the drama queens, and the list goes on…
6. Carry Garlic
Folklore would have it that vampires hate garlic. Be prepared 😉
(OK just kidding…hee hee)
Most all people have at least one of two energy vampires in their lives. Perhaps for you this is a relationship pattern. Or for others you’ve simply connected with a highly needy person. Either way it’s important to put effort toward the relationship all the while being true to who you are and what you need.
Below I’d love for you to share with me your experience with energy vampires. Do you have any in your life? And if so what is your best approach to dealing with them. I always look forward to connecting with you on my blog and on FaceBook, so don’t be shy. Here’s to an energy filled week and to always, no matter what, taking care of you.
Love Love Love
*image courtesy of Steve Czajak