I’m just going to come right out and say it. I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. 

It’s overly commercialized. It’s exclusionary. Most importantly, the idea of a picture-perfect Valentine’s day can set us up for a big let down whether we’re single or in a relationship.  

Every year, like clockwork, my therapy clients would inevitably show up for their post-Valentine sessions feeling disappointed, disenchanted, depressed, and even a little devastated by what did or did not happen for them on February 14th. 

The reality is there isn’t ONE day a year for us to show love for the people in our lives and vice versa! In the spirit of cultivating REAL love in our lives, I want to invite you into the ritual practice I do in lieu of Valentine’s Day every year. 

It’s all about the transformative power of SELF-Love and self-celebration! You might not feel much like celebrating after the difficulty of the last year, and I get it. I’ve updated the self-love ritual with a new exercise to inspire us to continue to unpack and honor our pandemic experience.

Whoever you are, and whatever your relationship status, this beautiful ritual is for you, because if there’s one thing I know for sure, strengthening our relationship to ourselves is never, ever a waste of time. 

Now, I’m not trying to be a total downer about Valentine’s Day. If you love it and it’s special to you and your partner, that’s amazing. Do your thing! You’re also still invited to the self-love party!

Intentionally expanding our self-love practice changes our vibration in the world. Prioritizing your own pleasure, wants, preferences and desires sets the bar for how the other people around us experience and treat us. 

Falling madly and deeply in love with yourself has the power to change your life. I don’t say that lightly. Self-love is the only path to all other healthy love. You have the power to love, cherish, and adore yourself. 

Let’s jump in, shall we?

What we have experienced in the last year has psychological implications. No matter where you are in the world, we’ve all been impacted in some way. Covid-19 changed our lives and our daily reality. It’s important to acknowledge and process these changes. 

Inside this week’s downloadable guide, I’m giving you questions to guide you through self-reflection on your personal experiences of the past year, how you felt, what you’ve lost, what you’ve learned, and how you’re feeling now.

In the guide, I’m also including ideas of things you can do to nurture yourself on a regular basis so you can be your own best support as you continue to heal. 

Be sure to download it right here. 

Now it’s time for you to create your self-love celebration ritual and treat yourself like the precious, gorgeous human that you are. 




Create a little sacred space for yourself, somewhere that you can sit often. Make it comfortable, cozy, and part of your self-loving experience. Intentionally create a safe and comforting space just for you. 

If you’ve been in my true blue crew for a while, you might already have a Zen Den, so why not take time to lovingly spruce it up? I have a ton of ideas for what you can add to your special space inside the guide. 


Give yourself intimate, alone time to think about how you really want to feel and what you deeply desire. You’re going to make a sacred date with yourself and focus only on YOU. You might feel some resistance to this as you start to move your focus inward to examine what you truly want. I can’t tell you the number of women in particular who find this challenging because they are so used to focusing their attention outward or sublimating their own wants to the needs or desires of others. 

I encourage you to push through any resistance and remember this process is not selfish. In fact, when you fill your own love-tank, when you hold yourself in high-esteem and high-regard, you are better able to show up fully for those in your life. 

This exercise will help you set the bar for how you want to be treated. Inside the guide, I’ve given you some questions to help you get clarity around what would make you feel the most loved, the most valued. So grab your journal, put your sacred date in your calendar and get the ritual guide right here


Enter your zen den space and using the inspiration and discoveries from your journaling exercise, decide what would be a beautiful gift to give yourself. It can be a small thing or a big gesture, but the goal is to do something special JUST for you that makes you feel the way you want to feel. 

Some ideas for you: 

  • Buy yourself a plant
  • Take a solo walk in some kind of nature
  • Give yourself an “at home” spa day
  • Take a virtual dance or movement class
  • Make yourself a delicious meal (or order in!)
  • Take a day (or an hour) off to read, nap, or do nothing
  • Plan zoom time with folks who fill up your bucket
  • Take a tech break (like…actually power devices OFF)

It can be anything that makes you feel nurtured and satisfied. 

When you take the time to incorporate simple, yet powerful self-love practices like this ritual, you get clear on what you want, on what’s working in your life, on what you want more of, and on what is and isn’t OK with you. It is only then you can speak up and give the people in your life the information they need to STEP up. You might be pleasantly surprised and/or you might discover information about what those around you are capable of. 

I am excited to hear about how your self-love ritual goes, what comes up for you, and how you are treating yourself! 

If you’re not already a member of my private FB group, join us there because we’ll all be doing this together this week! Here’s where you can jump into this amazing group of like-hearted women. 

Remember: the most important love is the love you curate and nurture for yourself. You deserve to fall deeply and madly in love with YOU and be your own Valentine (every damn day)!

I hope you have an amazing week and have so much fun doing this ritual and as always, take care of you.

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