“Being in a healthy relationship means that you can feel both free and securely tethered. You’re allowed to be yourself– To dress the way you want, to do what you want.” – Terri Cole
A few weeks ago, Jonah Hill’s ex-girlfriend, Sarah Brady, shared a bunch of text messages he sent her when they were dating. Among them was the above list of “boundaries.” As you can imagine, this stirred up a lot of discussion online.
I fell into a Reddit hole about it and was stunned by the amount of misinformation out there about boundaries. People are truly unaware of the differences between coercion, abuse, effective boundaries, and control, which is what this episode is about.
I also talk about the signs of coercive control to watch for and why the Jonah Hill situation is more manipulative than it may seem.
- 4:00 What boundaries are and why demands aren’t boundaries
- 8:43 The hallmarks of coercive control
- 9:20 Threats and fear of harm
- 11:30 Humiliation
- 12:20 Isolation
- 13:40 Monitoring
- 15:40 Financial control
- 16:00 Sexual coercion
- 19:00 In a healthy relationship, you feel free to be yourself
Find the downloadable guide I made to go along with today’s episode here.
Take the boundary quiz and learn more about your Boundary Style
Here are some ways I can support you:
I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT BOUNDARIES! Boundary Boss is THE essential guidebook for authentically expressing your desires, setting healthy limits, and bringing more satisfaction, joy, and peace into all of your personal and professional relationships. Purchase your copy now!
TAKE THE BOUNDARY STYLE QUIZ I always say, ya can’t change anything until you become aware of it, so take the quiz and discover your unique boundary style!
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