Many people look at my husband of fifteen years, Victor Juhasz, and say, “Oh, you’re so lucky!”
Trust me, I feel blessed to have met and married my true love, but our healthy marriage isn’t an accident and definitely can’t be chalked up to “luck.”
We work at it by consciously making our connection a priority. What the other thinks, feels, and wants matters to both of us. We treat each other with respect and are actively grateful.
You, too, have a choice. Do you want to be right, or do you want to be loving? Most of the time, you can’t be both. You can focus on what’s wrong with your partner or what’s right. Of course, Victor and I annoy each other at times like any couple who has been together for many years, but that is not where we choose to put our attention. We immediately and effectively communicate our frustration to avoid a toxic build up of resentment. This is a daily choice, and you and your partner have the same choice.
What are you focusing on? Do you still love what you loved about your partner when you first met him/her? Do you appreciate your partner and treat them with loving kindness and respect?
Love doesn’t just stay good. You have to intend that it stays interesting, hot, and fun.
I am interested to hear if you have any great tips on keeping love healthy or maybe you need a little advice on effective communication. Drop a comment and share. I make sure to respond to everyone, so ask away!
I hope you have an amazing week and, as always, take care of you.
Love Love Love
Terri
Resisting Change
Make time for quality time. Even if life gets “busy” – it’s imperative.
Check in with yourself and one another on a personal level. It helps you move through any discrepancies or challenges much faster, smoother, and develops a deeper sense of who you are both as individuals and as a couple.
And really look into each other’s eyes – often.
Hi Karin! I love this sage advice because it is sooooooo freakin’ true. Eye contact, REALLY listening, making time, exercising empathy rather than criticism and focusing on what is RIGHT are all ways to keep love thriving! <3
After an inspiring weekend of love and abundance in NYC this is the first thing I read after a very long flight home this morning. What a coincidence (if there are any:) that I Found in my Twitter feed, “Love doesn’t just stay good. u have to intend that it stays interesting, fun & hot”. After my night experience I clicked through because it is SO true and I wanted to hear more. I flew in at 1am knowing that the entire house would be sound asleep. Before I landed I meditated and prayed to release any resentments or negativity. I focused on and asked for an emotional connection to have for me when I got home. Guess what? My hubs was standing in the dark kitchen with open arms waiting for me:) 17 years of marriage is only possible for us b/c we communicate from a connected (deeper) place. Not from the surface “in the moment” trials and life curve balls that surround us every day. This takes work, I fall short often but always come back to the connection. I am so happy to have found you. Our marriage therapist was intrumental in teaching us these techniques. I hope our boys learn from what they see and witness in our lives…. I am sharing you with my community today:)) Nickie
Awww Nickie thank you for sharing that beautiful story or hope and the power of setting your intention! I am so glad you found me and so grateful you are sharing the love with your community <3
THANK YOU Terri,
I look forward to each of your tune-up tips, however this one really resonated and reminded me of what is truly important in ALL of my relationships!
Phyllis
Thank you for your comment Phylis! I am so happy the post resonated with you. So glad you are here with us <3
I have been happily married for 12 years this July. You are absolutely spot on here (yet again). Things like compromise, honesty, conscious communication are all great yet at our wedding all those years ago, hubby and I were told this by a couple who had been happily married for years.
“Never go to bed angry with one another & laugh at something together every day”.
I tell you we have lived by these two rules & our marriage is as strong ( if not stronger) now than it has ever been!!
Anyone that asks me the secrets to a good marriage, I pass this on 😉
Absolutely spot on! Oopsie just notice that Yvonne above just used the same words. There is soooo much truth to to what you wrote and said beautiful Terri!
Great big hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
🙂
Celebrated 53 yrs. May 14 (yes, to one man) He is not a touchy lovey type guy, especially in public but last night we took our family out to dinner and at the resturant he put his hand accross my shoulder and then let it rub accross my shoulder blades gently—-talk about sweet—it’s the little things that keep you hanging in—reminded me of the old song “Little things mean a lot”.
jeri-
thank you for your comment. i think the ‘little’ things are the things that make up our daily experience with our partner. congrats on 53 years!!! thank you for sharing your comment here with us <3
Your Post Is Full of Sage Advise
Clearly you have a handle on this
But, for me, this additional Secret
Took me 48 years to Learn
To Be Able To Be In Love
First, You Must Learn To Love Yourself
This Builds the Base
That Supports The Foundation
Upon Which You Draw To Give Love To Others
For Truly Selfless Love
Never Really Works
Much Like the Movie Runaway Bride
If You Never Learn How You LIke Your Eggs
They Will Never Taste Right
And You Will Keep Trying to Serve Others
What They Want
Without Really Geting What You Need
PoemsOnTheSpot
Ed Seymour
Ed-
thank you for your astute comment. agreed that self love is the path to TRUE LOVE. keep up the good work. I am so happy you are here with us <3
Thanks, Terri for a great reminder on how we have to be aware and work to keep the love alive. I shared it on Facebook too! Each day I wake up and focus on giving to my husband with out reaction and defense, and to really hear him when he has something to say. Laughing together each day is key too, for us as well as remembering we are not in a race of life – there is time for lots of things if we just slow down and live our lives with intention.
Absolutely, Karen. Thank you for sharing!