For the past six months, people have been asking me to do an episode on managing anxiety. We are living in genuinely anxious times, and real things to be anxious about are not in short supply. So here it is.

For me, anxiety feels like unease. Like I am forgetting something. Like something is wrong, even when I cannot point to what it is. An undercurrent of fear or dread.

I have noticed a clear uptick in clients describing this lately, too. Difficulty sleeping, intrusive thoughts, a body that cannot relax, the sense of panic gathering. This is anxiety that interferes with daily life and makes it difficult, or even impossible, to do the things we want to do. If this is you, you are not alone, and there are things that help.

Prefer the audio? Listen here.

Your Anxiety Blueprint

It can help to understand your own downloaded anxiety blueprint. Many of us come from family systems where anxiety was the air we breathed.

Did you grow up in a chaotic or dysfunctional family? Are you a trauma survivor? Did you have a parent or caregiver who was a chronic worrier? In many families and cultures, worrying about someone is treated as a love language. Worry as a way of life is something else. It is a sustained catastrophic fantasy, projecting into the future and preparing for the worst.

Did caring for someone in your family mean worrying about them? Is there a history of anxiety disorders in the family? Research suggests there may be a genetic component. The more yeses, the more your nervous system may have been wired for anxiety early.

What Might Be Making It Worse

Before you go further, look honestly at what you are putting into your body. As a therapist, I have always provided a thorough intake on diet (as well as all the other psychosocial factors) because what we consume directly affects how we feel. I am gently inviting you to be real with yourself here.

Caffeine, alcohol, dehydration, and low blood sugar can each mimic or worsen anxiety. Too much caffeine can produce similar symptoms to an anxiety disorder. When clients came in convinced something was wrong, I always wanted to know how much they were drinking, because we had to rule out caffeine before we could rule in an anxiety disorder. Same symptoms, different sources. Alcohol does this in reverse. People reach for a drink to take the edge off, and it works in the moment, which is why we keep doing it. But over time, too much alcohol affects serotonin levels and worsens anxiety on the back end. Dehydration intensifies anxiety and creates brain fog. If you are not fueling your God pod, as my friend Kris Carr would say, with enough protein and whole foods throughout the day, your blood sugar can drop, and your body can read that as a threat.

None of these is the cause of an anxiety disorder. They can be turning up the volume on something that would otherwise be quieter.

The importance of good sleep cannot be overstated. Sleep deprivation is one of the most direct routes to anxiety, and the relationship runs both ways. You sleep badly, and you feel anxious. You feel anxious, and you sleep badly. Many women hit this for the first time in perimenopause and menopause. I did. At the start of menopause, I developed insomnia I had never had before, and I could not believe how anxiety-provoking it was. Sleeping poorly made me anxious about everything. Good sleep hygiene matters more than people realize. Dark room, eye mask, no phones or computers in the bedroom. Your body needs the signal that it is safe to power down.

Once you have looked at the inputs, look at the patterns. Taking an anxiety inventory can help. Noticing when your anxiety spikes, around whom, in what situations, and what you find yourself ruminating about. I have included that inventory in the guide for this episode so you can work through it on your own.

If you identify as an empath or a highly sensitive person, you are likely more affected by what you take in. Be intentional about how you get your news. You cannot retraumatize yourself with a 24-hour bad-news cycle and expect to feel okay. I read my news rather than watching it. I do not watch violent, scary content, even in movies or on television. That is a personal choice and a nervous system one.

Shifts That Help

Move your bod. This is not me saying go to the gym and get a six-pack. Even ten minutes a day matters. Stretching matters. Do not underestimate small steps.

If you have gotten out of shape, or you are recovering from being sick, or you have a chronic illness, just do what you are able to do. Chair yoga counts. Only you know what you are capable of, and I am not assuming everyone is able-bodied. Do what you can, because it actually makes a difference.

Try writing how you are feeling. Moving anxiety from the mind to the page interrupts the loop. Rate your anxiety daily and see if you can connect the dots. Less anxiety today after eight hours of sleep, more yesterday after four. You are being a detective in your own life, figuring out what you need to do to reduce anxiety.

When to Bring in a Professional

If your anxiety is through the roof, see a doctor or a therapist. Get a treatment plan. Virtual therapy is widely available now.

I do not want this episode to land as do-it-yourself. Some anxiety responds to lifestyle changes and self-reflection. Some do not. If you are trying these interventions and nothing is working, you deserve professional support. You do not have to live like this.

You deserve to feel calm and safe in your own body and in your own life, to the best of your ability.

As always, take care of you.

Terri Cole Answers Your FAQs From The Week’s Blog

What is the difference between worry and anxiety?

Worry tends to be situational and short-lived. You worry about a specific thing, and when the situation resolves, the worry resolves with it. Anxiety is more of a sustained state. It can show up as an underlying hum of unease, intrusive thoughts, difficulty sleeping, a body that cannot relax, or a sense of panic gathering. When that state interferes with daily life and makes it difficult to do the things you want to do, you are looking at something more than worry.

Can lifestyle changes really make a difference with anxiety?

For many people, yes. Caffeine, alcohol, dehydration, low blood sugar, and poor sleep can each mimic or worsen anxiety symptoms. Looking honestly at these inputs before assuming you have an anxiety disorder is part of how I worked with clients for almost 30 years. Sleep in particular is one of the most direct routes to anxiety, and the relationship runs both ways. None of these are the cause of an anxiety disorder, but they can be turning up the volume on something that would otherwise be quieter.

Why does my anxiety feel worse in perimenopause and menopause?

Many women experience anxiety and insomnia for the first time during this stage of life. Hormonal shifts affect sleep, mood, and the nervous system, and the combination can land hard. I went through this myself at the start of menopause and could not believe how anxiety-provoking it was. If this is new for you, you are not imagining it, and you are not alone.

When should I see a professional about my anxiety?

If your anxiety is through the roof, if it is debilitating, or if you have tried lifestyle changes and self-reflection and nothing is touching it, please see a doctor or a therapist. Get a treatment plan. Virtual therapy is widely available now. Some anxiety responds to the kinds of shifts I describe in this episode. Some do not. You deserve professional support, and you do not have to live like this.