Life is made up of decisions. Small ones like whether to have your coffee hot or iced. And big ones, like accepting or rejecting a new job offer. It is the decisions you make that set the course for your life. Yet, just as important as the decisions themselves is why you make them.

From a very young age most of you were taught to honor your word and to finish what you start because, nobody likes a quitter. There was fear around letting others down or hurting their feelings. So in order to honor what you were taught, when you a made decision, you stuck with it.

What do you do when you are midway down a path towards something you thought was ‘right,’ to discover you were wrong?

Need to have a difficult conversation? Here’s how..

 

If you do not CHANGE direction, you may END UP where you are heading.- Lao Tzu via @Terri_Cole  {CLICK TO TWEET}

I know many of you fear there is such a thing as a point of no return. You believe there is a point past which you must stick with the choices you have made. Though it is this mindset that can lead to resentment, pain, and a boatload of unhappiness. When you end up staying on a path that you know in your gut is no longer right for you, no one wins.

Want to transform your fear into courage?

It is important to remember that no matter what is happening at any point in your life, you can choose to change it. You are the only one in the driver’s seat navigating the direction your life will go. You can change routes or make a U turn at any point. You can say no to that which you already said yes. You can choose differently. You can change your mind. You can ALWAYS course correct.

At ANY point in time, you have the right to CHANGE your mind @Terri_Cole  {CLICK TO TWEET}

Honoring your instincts is part of trusting yourself. By authentically honoring you, and your internal ‘knowing’, you’ll inspire others to do the same. To begin this start by taking small steps. Set aside time daily to dial into how your body is responding to choices you are making. Notice where you allowed yourself room for correcting, and where you felt constricted to move forward in spite of perhaps wanting to choose otherwise. Allowing yourself to course correct can take some getting used to, but it can save time, energy and regret down the road.

In the comments below I want to hear from you! Share with me one situation that you feel may need course correcting. I know that this can be a really heavy topic depending on the situation. So honor yourself no matter where you’re at. Awareness of the need for change is half the battle.

See you in the comments, and as always, take care of you!

Love Love Love

 

Terri

 

*image courtesy of Ira Gelb

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  1. I am having thoughts of course correcting my life in a major way. Thinking of asking my husband for a divorce. He was the love of my life but lately he has been treating me badly. I have told him he hurt me a lot and he refuses to apologize or even admit he has done anything wrong. As much as I love him I no longer feel loved by him. I am financially dependent on him which is what is making this so scary for me. We also have children. My heart is telling me it is time to let him go but so afraid of being on my own financially. I am on disability and my income is very small. Not sure what I should do.

    1. Hi Beth, as you know this is a huge decision you are contemplating. It may take time, it will take patience and it will definitely require a lot of compassion for both you and your husband. Of course when children and finances are involved it makes the situation that much more complex. I am not sure how much of this you may have already tried but I believe it is always in the best interest of couples (unless abuse is involved ) to seek professional help before making a life changing decisions. Just as with everything in life, relationships (and the people in them) have their ups and downs. Perhaps your husband would be willing to seek professional counseling? If your heart is telling you that it is time to let him go then perhaps it would be helpful for you to seek professional counseling, on your own, for support during this period of time. Whatever you decide to do know and remember that you are loved and worthy of love.

  2. Terri,

    It is crazy that we need permission to do this! Unfortunately, course correction upsets our loved ones sometimes because we are breaking through their expectations. We are changing who we are by taking control of our destiny ourselves. I loved this! I also love hearing from you. You constantly help me to affirm positive life changes. Isn’t it the greatest gift that we can grow and change every single day of our lives? Thank you for being there for all of us! You are greatly appreciated!

  3. I work too much and am in the process of correcting this course. It’s hard because other people are committed to their success and my work is tied to that; I am an accessory of theirs. Learning how to disengage from unhealthy situations.
    Thanks for being there!

    1. Susan,
      I used to be a talent agent so, trust me I FEEL you on this one. Stay the course and listen to your gut. The more you can draw healthy boundaries and say NO when you need to-the happier and healthier you will be. I am holding space for that! Thank you for being here xo

  4. I am wanting to course-correct.I am 52 & have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, & dissociative identity disorder, & it seems that when I have one thing just under control, another worsens. But I used to be a professional writer; through marriage, trauma, & amnesia, I have lost all my contacts & cannot remember anything about how to write or submit manuscripts. & my ex burnt all existing writing work, right from personal diaries I had kept from grade 4, to all copies of work published in magazines. So I have to start from scratch. There is a writing course I wantto take at the university, a 4-month intensive therapy program I want to complete, & a 3-month work training course I want to take. I also want to become a medical transcriptionist, which is 4 months of intensive school.
    I also have ADHD & a learning disability. And I sm trying to get married next year. & also file for back-support from my ex-husband.
    There MUST be a way to achieve these things, even with my limitations!

  5. I’m working on my trust issues right now. Somewhere a long time ago I lost the power of having the instinct because of not trusting myself. Your article is of big help to me! I hope you inspire me more and motivate me to trust myself again! xo

    1. Angel,
      I am so happy you are hear and that this post resonated with you! Keep up the good work and you will learn to trust yourself again as long as you are willing to make yourself and your needs a priority. Take good care of you xo

    1. Sherri-
      I hear you but now we both know why the saying, “Youth is wasted on the young,” is a saying lol! Keep living and learning and know how grateful I am that you are here! xo

  6. Yes Terri, I do course-correct now but it is still a learning curve!
    I am trusting myself more when I suddenly change my mind – I started with baby steps, like changing my mind about smaller things before major life course-corrections
    Thanks for reminding us it is ok to change our minds and to course-correct!
    Love
    Fiamma

    1. Flamma,
      I think it will always be a learning curve, honestly. The more you do it, the better you get. Keep up the great work and know I am so grateful you are here and sharing your experience with us! xo

  7. Small ticket item example: new acquaintance invited me for dinner. I napped the afternoon of the dinner, an unusual activity for me, woke up three hours later having missed dinner, woke up groggy and knowing I needed more sleep. Called to cancel, call blocked, texted a short “so sorry but I can’t come over and here’s why” and went back to sleep for 12 more hours. Canceling at short notice also isn’t normal behavior for me — but paying attention is. I knew something was off with my body , that it needed to get more rest. New acquaintance response: angry because “she made the effort to make dinner for me even though she was tired and not really in the mood.” Yes, there’s a cost to honoring self, losing this burgeoning friendship. Too bad she didn’t give herself permission to course correct and reschedule dinner!

    1. Janet,
      I hear you. But course correcting after the fact and before the fact are two different scenarios. Props to you for honoring what your body needed with the understanding that your new friend had a right to have feelings about the total no show. Best case scenario would be that she was miffed you authentically apologized and you could continue to explore and potentially grown the friendship. I agree with you that if she did not feel up to keeping the plan that she let herself course correct! Thank you for sharing here with us. xo

  8. The day before flying to a new country (Canada), I suffered from panic attacks, nose bleeding, stomach cramp (I was 7 month pregnant at that time). After several trips to Canada, I decided to give birth to my home country surrounded by my family. Because of the stress (no health care, I was immigrant in UK for 10 years) I suffered from 2 majors haemorrhages during and after birth (>4L blood loss). 18 months later, I now live in Canada with my partner and my daughter, I have anxiety, no job, no friends and virtual family on skype. Should I have canceled everything? We are moving in a new country in 2 or 3 years… I am working hard to make it work (breathing technics, herbal remedies, yoga, meditation, visualization…) . I do not regret my choice. I learned a lot about myself, about depression and loneliness. I have more empathy and compassion to people with mental illness. I think, sometimes, you must go down the road to truly understand what your needs and who you are.

    1. Peggy,
      Thank you for sharing your struggle and wisdom here with us. Learning about yourself is a great gift but what you have been through is challenging. Have properly processed the traumatic delivery of your daughter? That can really effect depression etc. Stay the course you are doing great xo

  9. I need to make a course correction in how I related to my family members. They like to have control and make decisions that directly impact me without talking to me about those decisions! This is definitely not good for me! So, I will make a course correction, and I have already done this to a large degree, to say No if they choose to do that. With no explanation, just no.

  10. So powerful and gentle, thank you. As a midlife woman who (like you) has experienced intense transition, I appreciate your vitality *and* your gravitas – a wonderful combination. Gives hope.

    (love your lipstick color!)

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