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The Hidden Types of Anxiety Behind Perfectionism and People Pleasing
Anxiety doesn’t always look like fear — sometimes it looks like control, perfectionism, people pleasing, and doing everything “right.” In this episode of The Terri Cole Show, I explore the types of anxiety that often hide beneath high-functioning behaviors, codependency, and the struggle to set healthy boundaries.
I sit down with anxiety expert Noelle McWard Aquino to explain how anxiety can show up as catastrophizing, control, and distorted beliefs about ourselves. We talk about why high-functioning anxiety can look like success, how overthinking keeps us stuck, and why trying to control everything may actually be a sign that we don’t feel safe.
Understanding your types of anxiety can help you recognize your patterns, create healthier boundaries, and learn how to respond differently instead of being driven by fear.
If you struggle with people pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, self-doubt, or feeling responsible for everyone and everything, this conversation will help you understand the deeper roots of anxiety and begin your emotional healing journey.
Topics
- 00:00 The 3 Types of Anxiety Explained
- 00:30 Why Most Anxiety Is Misunderstood
- 08:20 Why Catastrophizing Leads to Rumination
- 16:30 Why Your Brain Looks for Proof You’re Not Enough
- 22:30 The “What If” Exercise That Reduces Anxiety
- 30:20 The Hidden Cost of Negative Self-Talk
- 38:00 People Pleasing, Boundaries & Healthy Relationships
- 39:50 Where to Find Noelle McWard Aquino
Resources mentioned
About Noelle McWard Aquino
Noelle McWard Aquino is a therapist practicing in Chicago, IL, with more than 30 years of experience specializing in the treatment of anxiety disorders. She is a therapist, educator, and author of the book Anxiety Unpacked: Discover Your Type and Recover Your Peace, published in 2025. She is also the mother of a young adult son who has lived with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder for most of his life.
“Whether it’s conscious or unconscious, people are always trying to develop behaviors to either mask negative core beliefs about themselves from other people or to compensate for them.” — Noelle McWard Aquino