effectively communicate

Do you feel heard in your life? In your relationship? At your job?

Effective communication is an essential component to having real, healthy love and for achieving anything you desire in your life. Think about how you communicate. First, rate your level of satisfaction with your communication. How frustrated do you feel on a regular basis? Do you feel misunderstood? Do you communicate directly or do you hint and imply things?

Every relationship is a dance and communication is part of that dance. So if you have an unspoken agreement with your partner, friend etc. that you won’t talk about things directly, then you can become stuck in a cycle of not expressing your real desires clearly. Certain cultures believe it’s distasteful to talk boldly and honestly about different topics, leaving children to grow up into adults who stifle their feelings rather than expressing them.

In this Real Love Revolution video, Can You Hear Me Now?, I cover:

  • Why Communication is Key
  • How to Determine Your Communication Style
  • Defining Ineffective vs. Effective Communication
  • How to Begin Communicating More Directly


There’s only two ways to communicate: effectively and ineffectively. Once you figure out how you’ve been communicating, you can figure out how to improve upon it. So what is your communication style? Bring to mind a difficult conversation you tried to have recently. Do you communicate directly or indirectly? Do you hold back in anger? If you were taught that being honest is rude you may be an ineffective communicator as a result. Ineffective communication is characterized as being indirect, passive, timid, or it could be angry and aggressive. It can also manifest as cryptic with an obscured underlying desire that is not being clearly expressed. Whereas effective communication is characterized as being direct and to the point. So there’s no doubt as to what the meaning is, and you’re not afraid to state what you want and why. You’re affable and friendly in the communication so there’s an openness to it, allowing your partner to also speak freely.

To better understand how you have been expressing yourself in all of your relationships, download the “Communication Style Cheat Sheet” below, so you can take small steps toward more effective communication. The dissatisfaction that you feel from being misunderstood is something you can actually change right here, right now. No matter how you’ve been communicating in the past, talking about the way you feel instead of acting it out will always be way more effective. You have the potential to be an expert communicator over time. Each step is progress not perfection.

Drop me a comment here on the blog and let me know what resonated with you after watching this video. Then head over to my YouTube Channel and SUBSCRIBE for free access to every Real Love Revolution vid! Join the conversation with #RealLoveRevolution on social media and share the love!

Thanks for watching, reading and sharing!
And as always, take care of YOU.



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  1. Terri…I just discovered you and I love you, in a self help way that is 🙂 I am a failure at any and all relationships. No one likes me because I’m passive aggressive. I grew up with an alcoholic father where we had to lie to keep everything from him to avoid anger, and any way to express anything was to be happy when he finally sobered up and bought me a shiny new outfit or object, which was often. My mom was codependent to the extreme. I’m 40, been married, have 2 kids by 2 different fathers. The father of my oldest and I use to get along until I got tired of him sexting me while being newly married. I’m the one at fault, and our relationship changed, so now I act out, then my youngest son’s father and I have been broke up for 3 years and it’s been a continuous dance for that time. We cannot communicate. We have this strong sexual connection but we are toxic together. I love him dearly, but everything I say he says is passive aggressive and I can’t figure out when I’m even doing it because apparently it’s so engrained. I feel I’m never going to get better. Help.

    1. Jo Lynn,
      Thanks for sharing here. Change takes time and insight. You CAN change but you have to first understand why you are the way you are-more deeply. Getting into therapy would be the fastest way to change your own behaviors. Also looking into Adult Children of Alcoholics as a resource can be really helpful. I am rooting you on and holding space for your healing.

    1. Erin,
      Thank you for a great Q! To understand why this may be happening from an unconscious point of view you can ask yourself the 3 Q’s which might reveal a pattern of behavior from your past that you may be unintentionally repeating. The qs are, Where have I felt like this before? Why is this dynamic familiar to me? and Who do these people remind me of? If you can identify a past similar experience, that new awareness might be enough for you to stop repeating that pattern. Wishing you the best of luck!

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}