Do you know what the top 3 biggest blocks to creating healthy boundaries are? Misinformation, lack of knowledge about the HOW, and plain old FEAR. Our boundary conversation continues but before I share the top myths + truths about healthy boundaries, I want to make sure that you are signed up for the Big Beautiful Boundary Challenge starting next Monday, September 10th at 1pm EDT! Click this link, ladies: https://terricole.com/boundary-challenge so you don’t miss a thing!
Let’s check out the top Boundary Myths that might be keeping you stuck in an old familiar but less than optimal boundary pattern. The more you know, the easier it is to make changes.
Boundary Myth: Boundaries will alienate the people I love
Boundary Truth: Healthy boundaries serve to protect your relationships so they can thrive.
The more you let people know what is okay and not okay with you, the more deeply they actually know you and understand your expectations. This doesn’t mean that they will always meet your expectations and your job is to share them so at least they have a shot.
Boundary Myth: Real romantic love needs no boundaries
Boundary Truth: Healthy love ALWAYS requires healthy boundaries
Don’t buy what the media, fairy tales, and crappy rom coms are selling! Healthy love is boundaried love, period. It is two whole humans that make up a solid union. Real healthy vibrant love isn’t like we see in the movies…it is so much better.
Boundary Myth: Protecting your Boundaries makes you selfish.
Boundary Truth: Protecting your boundaries makes you brave + generous
Hey – it’s easier to NOT have the challenging conversation, to claim “niceness” as the reason and then bad mouth the person to others or in your own mind for weeks, years, decades or your entire life. In reality, that is only easier in the short run because the long game of that strategy is tortuous and disastrous for your relationships. Being legit selfish is keeping vital information from the people you love the most.
Boundary Myth: Creating healthy boundaries is too time-consuming
Boundary Truth: You could spend the rest of this lifetime cleaning up the mess that past unhealthy boundary disasters created.
You got time for that? No, you do not.
Boundary Myth: Setting boundaries makes you mean
Boundary Truth: Setting boundaries can consistently be done with kindness.
And when you really think about it, not setting boundaries and being dishonest is actually pretty mean.
As you can see from the boundary myths and truths list above all of the myths are predicated on fear-based thinking. So why is it so scary to assert healthy boundaries? It all comes back to fear of rejection, abandonment or conflict. Be rest assured that none of those experiences is fatal and the more you can exercise drawing healthy boundaries, the more you will reap the rewards and the less threatening it will feel.
To learn more about your unique boundary style and decode your biggest boundary challenges, I look forward to seeing you in our Big Beautiful Boundary challenge on 9/10! Also please sign up for the FB messenger option here so you’ll know when I’m going live and you won’t miss a thing!
Please share this blog and the challenge with anyone you know could use this information. We transform the world by transforming ourselves (and up-leveling our boundary skill set!) – so the more people on this healing path, the better!
Thanks for listening, watching, and sharing.