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“Nobody is open to hearing everything in the world that’s wrong with them at once.” – Terri Cole
Intro
Many people can communicate just fine until a conflict arises.
Then the nervous system gets activated, and suddenly you’re either shutting down, getting defensive, or saying things you don’t mean.
Sound familiar?
Our nervous systems get activated during conflict. It’s normal for communication to be more challenging when you’re activated than when you’re not. That’s just biology. When you understand how your body responds to stress, you give yourself a chance to communicate more effectively.
When you’re in conflict, what happens for you?
- Do you shut down?
- Do you get loud?
- Or begin attempting to please or appease the other person?
I’m going to walk you through the top challenges I see as a psychotherapist. And I’ve put together a guide with some scripts for you at terricole.com/guide.
Highlights:
- 3:25 Why it’s often more challenging to communicate during conflict
- 7:00 Strategies to improve communication when you’re emotionally activated
- 8:15 How “stone walling” and shutting down harms communication
- 13:30 Avoiding blame and shame
- 17:00 The importance of repair
Links Mentioned:
Find the free meditation I made to go along with today’s episode here.
Join the Terri Cole Membership at https://www.terricole.com/tcm/ to find a soft place to land in a hard world– Somewhere to share accountability and community to improve your mental health while you live your everyday life.
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