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“Desire is embodied wanting. It’s not what you should want, what you’re supposed to want, what you should want, or what you remember you used to want. What do you feel yourself wanting?” – Shadeen Francis
Intro
You feel disconnected from your own pleasure. Sex becomes a duty instead of desire. In this episode, licensed sex therapist Shadeen Francis breaks down why women especially struggle to connect with embodied wanting and how shame keeps you trapped between “should” and “want.”
Learn why your partner actually wants you to feel desire, the psychology behind self-abandonment in relationships, and practical steps to reclaim your pleasure and your voice.
Highlights:
- 3:40 Shadeen’s origin story
- 15:45 The relationship between desire and sex
- 21:40 Handling shame around sexual desire
- 28:00 Giving yourself the space to try new things and name your desires
- 37:10 Why women are afraid of saying no, and why they should recognize the role they are playing
- 40:40 Shadeen’s most challenging boundary struggle
Connect with Shadeen Francis
Shadeen Francis is a licensed marriage and family psychotherapist and a board-certified sex therapist. Her expertise spans the domains of mental health, emotional intelligence, and the intersection of sexual wellness and social justice. A sought-after voice in her field, Shadeen has been featured on major networks including ABC, NBC, and CBS, and has been the subject matter expert for prominent brands such as Essence, Bumble, Tinder, and Teen Vogue. Shadeen’s work extends beyond the therapy room, influencing nationally implemented curricula, global media strategies, and public health policies. Known for her signature brand of warmth and humour, Shadeen’s work is inspired by her commitment to helping people live lives full of peace and pleasure.
Find Shadeen at:
https://www.instagram.com/shadeenfrancis
Here are some ways we can connect and grow together:
I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT BOUNDARIES! Boundary Boss is THE essential guidebook for authentically expressing your desires, setting healthy limits, and bringing more satisfaction, joy, and peace into all of your personal and professional relationships. There are super JUICY bonuses when you pre-order, so what are you waiting for?
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