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“I set a boundary with this idea inside of me of the ideal self. I set a boundary with that part of me that said, ‘You must be…’ and had this image of an ideal self.” – Vanessa Cornell

Intro

I am so excited to welcome my wise pal, Vanessa Cornell, to the show to share her story of breaking down to break through. Vanessa had everything she could have ever dreamed of – a loving husband, five children, abundance and success – and yet, she felt trapped in a crushing and debilitating loneliness. (I’m sure many of you can relate!)

We also talked about how to navigate mom guilt (and why it’s really fear in disguise), how high-functioning codependency shows up in motherhood, how we’re taught to be in the world and why it causes rage and resentment later on, and so much more. 

I hope you enjoy this heartfelt girlfriend jam as much as I did.

P.S. – Grab Vanessa’s free gift at https://nushu.com/terri

Highlights:

• 2:30 Vanessa’s journey from working in the world of finance to being a mother of 5 and running two businesses
• 4:40 The loneliness of selflessness 
• 10:50 Overcoming mom guilt and mom burnout
• 15:30 Accepting the things you can’t control as a parent, and why it’s so difficult
• 21:10 Making children feel loved, safe, and seen
• 27:10 The power of retreats and safe spaces
• 30:45 A mindfulness practice you can use to check in with yourself
• 32:30 Vanessa’s internal boundary struggle around perfectionism

Connect with Vanessa Cornell

Vanessa Cornell is the owner of Cornell Vineyards and the founder of NUSHU, a women’s community grounded in wellness and empowerment. 

Vanessa graduated from Harvard and went on to work at Goldman Sachs. She then dedicated ten years to growing, birthing, and raising her five children. After a lifetime of overachieving and overgiving, Vanessa felt depleted and deeply disconnected from herself and experienced a breaking apart of everything she had known.

Since her personal awakening, Vanessa found her passion giving women the tools and confidence to step into their power and lead lives of joy and purpose. Through this work, Vanessa has become a curious observer of the human condition and a leading voice in parenting empowerment, helping moms to overcome the constant guilt, shame, and pressures that plague modern motherhood in order to live a fully actualized life free from mom-guilt and mom-burnout.

Vanessa’s three loves in life are herself, her work, and her family; her incredible husband and five quirky, individual, sometimes challenging but always interesting and lovable children.

Website: https://nushu.com

Retreats: https://nushu.com/events 

IG: https://instagram.com/vanessacornell & https://instagram.com/nushu

Here are some ways we can connect and grow together:

I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT BOUNDARIES! Boundary Boss is THE essential guidebook for authentically expressing your desires, setting healthy limits, and bringing more satisfaction, joy, and peace into all of your personal and professional relationships. There are super JUICY bonuses when you pre-order, so what are you waiting for?

TAKE THE BOUNDARY STYLE QUIZ I always say, ya can’t change anything until you become aware of it, so take the quiz and discover your unique boundary style!

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