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“The core of the narcissistic person is very fragile. That’s why they lose it when you critique them, or give them feedback, or don’t read their mind, or don’t do exactly what they want. And that’s why they use all kinds of tactics like manipulation, gaslighting, invalidation dismissiveness, competitiveness, and betrayal.” – Dr. Ramani
Intro
I am so excited to have Dr. Ramani on the show today to discuss concepts from her new book, It’s Not You: How to Identify and Heal from Narcissistic People. Many of you are likely familiar with her work, and for good reason– she is a brilliant clinician who breaks down narcissism in an accessible way, which helps people heal.
I’ve been a fan of hers for years and I am thrilled to bring you this conversation where we explore everything ranging from how narcissists are made, the impact of love bombing on victims, how narcissistic supply works and what it is, the difference between narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and what the healing process looks like.
Highlights:
- 4:30 Interest in narcissism
- 7:10 Impact on victims
- 9:20 Love bombing
- 12:00 Narcissistic supply
- 13:30 Supply & being upset
- 15:00 Spotlight on narcissism
- 20:00 Narcissism & narcissistic personality disorder
- 24:00 Process of diagnosis
- 29:10 How narcissists are made
- 33:20 Healing process
- 39:25 Dr. Ramani’s biggest boundary struggle
Connect with Dr. Ramani:
Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, CA, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting, a company focused on educating individuals, clinicians and businesses/institutions on the impact of narcissistic personality styles. Her academic research was focused on the impact of personality and personality disorders on health and behavior.
Dr. Durvasula is a faculty member for the APA Leadership Institute for Women in Psychology, and a consulting editor for the journal Behavioral Medicine. She has spoken widely on the impact of narcissism on mental health, relationships and the workplace. She also operates a popular YouTube channel and podcast (Navigating Narcissism). Dr. Durvasula is also working with PESI on the development of an educational and certification program for clinicians working with clients experiencing the fallout of narcissistic relationships.
Website: https://doctorramani.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/doctorramani
YouTube: @doctorramani
Narcissistic Abuse Healing Program: https://doctor-ramani.teachable.com/p/taking-yourself-back-healing-from-narcissistic-antagonistic-relationships
Includes: 3 virtual events / month, 3 journal prompts / week, access to an online community + much more
Dr. Ramani’s podcast: Navigating Narcissism. Listen wherever you get your podcasts!
Here are some ways we can connect and grow together:
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