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“When boundaries go unspoken, what do you think happens? We get resentful, we get pissed off, and our feelings start changing. Sometimes, the other people in our relationships can tell something is wrong, but they don’t know what. Honestly articulating our boundaries protects our relationships.” – Terri Cole
Intro
Do you have “repeat boundary offenders” in your life? People who keep doing the thing they said they wouldn’t do, even though it upsets you?
Are you tired of boundary violations, but don’t know how to get through to boundary bullies?
If you are nodding your head yes, this episode is for you
I am talking all about how to create appropriate consequences for boundary violations and how to communicate these violations effectively to the people in your life. It’s time to put a stop to this groundhog day of frustration, pain, and suffering and to be understood.
Of course, setting consequences doesn’t guarantee someone will respect our boundaries, but effective communication (as opposed to no communication) gives them a chance to.
Highlights:
- 04:00 Defining boundaries: Your own personal rules of engagement
- 04:50 Establishing our boundaries helps protect our sovereignty and our relationships
- 06:50 Setting limits with boundary first-timers, repeat offenders, and
- 12:15 Preparing for the challenges of setting boundaries
- 16:00 Remember that boundaries are not about control
- 22:30 An example to help you set boundaries and create consequences
Links Mentioned:
Find the downloadable guide I made to go along with today’s episode here.
This episode is sponsored by Third Love. Upgrade your bra today and get 20% off your first order today at thirdlove.com/TERRICOLE. That’s 20% off your first order today at thirdlove.com/TERRICOLE.
Take the boundary quiz and learn more about your Boundary Style
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I’m so glad I found your podcasts and newsletter. Boundaries have always been tough for me. Now my 91 yr old Father who is in Independent Living and soon to be Assisted Living calls me several times a day to tell me how terrible he feels. (Sickly he calls it). His Dr says other than the k own problems he has there is nothing than explains his “ sickness”. I am in charge of his care but he is emotionally attached to me. Having a hard time telling him not to call me all the time.
Hi Mary – I am witnessing you with compassion and understanding for this difficult situation you are in. ❤️ You might tell your father the frequent phone calls are disruptive for your work life and that you can talk on weekends or after work, and that you will have your phone on silent during working hours or something to this effect. Basically, managing his expectations and then turning your phone to silent for a period of time each day to create better boundaries.