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“If we are always exposed to triggers and stress, our amygdala is always firing away. This is like having a hijacker flying a plane. You would never take a plane voluntarily knowing there is a hijacker, so why would you want to use your brain with one in charge?” – Dr. Perpetua Neo


Dr. Perpetua Neo (Or Dr. P, as I like to call her) is the author of the fantastic workbook This Is What Matters: A Step-by-Step Workbook for Identifying Your Values, Priorities, and Path Forward After a Crisis. In this interview, she shares how she left an abusive relationship with a narcissist. We also chat about vulnerability, over-functioning, and resetting your brain through meditation to make sure your higher self is in charge.


  • 03:20 The inspiration behind Dr. P’s workbook about processing trauma, This is What Matters
  • 04:50 Being appreciative of your resilience and acknowledging life’s seasons
  • 06:30 How to reset your brain by breathing properly
  • 11:20 Making decisions with your higher brain, not your fear brain
  • 13:50 How Dr. P’s experience in an abusive relationship drew her to her current work
  • 18:00 Embracing your vulnerability as a work in progress
  • 19:30 Creating a cartograph to map your path to your goals
  • 20:55 Where the urge to over-function comes from
  • 25:10 How Dr. P overcame her most challenging boundary struggle

Connect with Perpetua Neo:

Dr. Perpetua Neo (DClinPsy, UCL; MPhil, Cambridge) coaches Type A+++ overachievers with demanding lives to be in control of their heads, time and relationships, so they perform and lead at their best always. And, they sleep like a cat.

Dr. P. tailors strategies to her client’s personalities and lifestyles, building lasting systems and structures, so they achieve multiple personal and professional goals. She specializes in The Big 3 we mistakenly tolerate— high-functioning anxiety, toxic relationships and panic attacks— blending cutting-edge neuroscience, psychology and ancient wisdom.

Dr. Perpetua Neo is a clinical psychologist and executive coach who specializes in helping people manage their thoughts, time, and relationships to perform at their best. She studied at Cambridge and University College London and has a background in sociology, anthropology, criminology, and philosophy. Dr. Neo advises on Stanford Business School’s Neurodiversity Project. Her writing has appeared on Forbes, Business Insider, Vogue, HuffPost, MindBodyGreen, and Thrive Global.

You can find Perpetua Neo on her website, plus, check out her workbook at your favorite bookstore!

Here are some ways we can connect and grow together:

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