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“It is not okay to be awful to yourself and loving to other people. You deserve the same loving treatment and support you would give a child.”
– Terri Cole
Intro
Do you identify as someone who is a kind and generous person? Does that sometimes mean you prioritize other people’s wants, needs, and desires above your own?
It is possible to be kind and generous without self-abandoning!
In this episode, you’ll learn why we do this plus the most common signs you might be self-abandoning, so you can up your self-love and begin to take better care of yourself (because you deserve it).
Highlights:
- 04:00 What is self-abandonment?
- 04:44 How to trace self-abandonment back to your family of origin
- 07:45 Signs of self-abandonment
- 12:49 A story of self-betrayal and how to avoid it
- 15:29 Establish a healthy relationship with yourself by understanding your own feelings
- 17:50 Be supportive, not critical, of yourself
- 19:55 Get clear on your own preferences, limits, and dealbreakers
Links Mentioned:
Find the downloadable guide I made to go along with today’s episode here.
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A very uplifting podcast, Terri. As someone working through my own childhood trauma, there are a some ups and a lot of downs to negotiate in acknowledging feelings for self-care. The "inner a-hole" is a great way to describe the insidious negative self-talk that is so easy to slip into from a place of self-judgement. These supportive messages are not something one can hear once and say "got it"; I believe that self-love is like a muscle that has to be nurtured while not slipping snacks to the self-loathing a-hole. Takes perseverance and practice.
Hi Denise,
Yes, I love that! So so true. Keep up the amazing work, mama <3 I'm cheering you on along your self-love journey!
I am interested in boundary work with you. I’ve discovered this is at the root of my other issues.
That’s great, Joanne! I’ll be cheering you on along your boundary journey – you got this!