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“It is not okay to be awful to yourself and loving to other people. You deserve the same loving treatment and support you would give a child.”
– Terri Cole



Do you identify as someone who is a kind and generous person? Does that sometimes mean you prioritize other people’s wants, needs, and desires above your own?

It is possible to be kind and generous without self-abandoning!

In this episode, you’ll learn why we do this plus the most common signs you might be self-abandoning, so you can up your self-love and begin to take better care of yourself (because you deserve it).


  • 04:00 What is self-abandonment?
  • 04:44 How to trace self-abandonment back to your family of origin
  • 07:45 Signs of self-abandonment
  • 12:49 A story of self-betrayal and how to avoid it
  • 15:29 Establish a healthy relationship with yourself by understanding your own feelings
  • 17:50 Be supportive, not critical, of yourself
  • 19:55 Get clear on your own preferences, limits, and dealbreakers

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  1. A very uplifting podcast, Terri. As someone working through my own childhood trauma, there are a some ups and a lot of downs to negotiate in acknowledging feelings for self-care. The "inner a-hole" is a great way to describe the insidious negative self-talk that is so easy to slip into from a place of self-judgement. These supportive messages are not something one can hear once and say "got it"; I believe that self-love is like a muscle that has to be nurtured while not slipping snacks to the self-loathing a-hole. Takes perseverance and practice.

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