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“How often do you say ‘Ugh, it’s just easier if I do it myself’? Here’s the thing: That will make you bitter eventually, no matter who you are.” – Terri Cole

Intro

Do you feel like you are the only person in your life who knows how to do anything correctly?

Have you ever asked your partner or your teenager to do something, and they come back with “But you do it so much better…” or “I don’t know how…” OR wait so long to start that you just end up doing it?

What if the people in your life are pretending to be less competent than they are to get you to do more than your share? Let that sink in.

If you are overworking, overdoing, and, if you’re honest, resentful and burnt out, you might want to learn about strategic (or weaponized) incompetence.

In today’s podcast, I break down this manipulation tactic and share how you can begin to step back from overfunctioning and move towards a more equitable distribution of labor in your life.

Highlights:

• 02:56 Defining strategic or weaponized incompetence
• 06:03 Why doing everything yourself to avoid confrontation is a bad idea
• 06:50 The distinction between sharing responsibilities and strategic incompetence
• 10:30 Why strategic incompetence is a boundary issue
• 10:57 Recognizing how picking up the slack enables strategic incompetence
• 13:16 Preventing strategic incompetence in a parent-child relationship
• 14:27 How to talk about strategic incompetence with a partner

Links Mentioned:

Here are some examples of TikToks about weaponized incompetence. Type “weaponized incompetence” into the search bar to find more.

Find the downloadable guide I made to go along with today’s episode here.

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