“The more internal space you create, the easier it is to catch yourself when you’re falling into a pattern of codependent anticipation— to say to yourself, ‘oh my god, look how much internal bandwidth I am giving to this thing that is supposed to be fun.’” – Terri Cole
Are you stressed out of your mind from anticipating all of the needs of all of the people, all of the time? Or do you go out of your way to indulge a particularly difficult family member so that they don’t explode and ruin the family gathering? If you find that you are always anticipating the needs of others, I might be able to help. In this episode, I’m breaking down what I call codependent anticipation and giving you some steps that you can take to stick to your side of the street a little bit more and stress a little bit less.
- 05:16 How to recognize codependent anticipation
- 07:14 How codependent anticipation is different from auto-accommodating
- 09:50 Overlap between conflict avoidance and codependent anticipation
- 10:16 Codependent anticipation motivates overfunctioning and over-doing
- 12:02 Take an anxiety inventory to identify who provokes your codependent anticipation
- 12:34 Prioritize your own feelings and desires
- 13:28 Be discerning about how you spend your time and effort
- 14:18 Institute a personal mindfulness practice
Find the downloadable guide I created to accompany today’s episode here.
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