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“A happy relationship is such a boon to our physical health, and the contrary is also true: When we feel unseen and devalued, when there’s unremitting conflict and we don’t have the skills we need to resolve it, it literally hurts our bodies.” – Dr. Alexandra Solomon


Today I’m sharing a chat with my friend Dr. Alexandra Solomon, who is a clinical psychologist at northwestern university and expert in relational self-awareness. We talk about love, self-reflection, monogamy, and how the field of relationship psychology has changed in the last 25 years, as well as sharing our own experiences with self-awareness in our intimate relationships.

I hope you enjoy listening to this interview with Alexandra as much as I enjoyed interviewing her!


  • 2:28 Alexandra’s origin story
  • 05:24 The difference between consensual non-monogamy and cheating
  • 09:46 How the field of love and relationships has changed in the last 25 years, including a more accurate understanding of female anatomy and finding less restrictive sexual scripts in intimate relationships
  • 28:32 Dating and self-reflection
  • 34:08 How a healthy relationship can support our physical health

Connect with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

Over the last two decades, Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon has become one of today’s most trusted voices in the world of relationships, and her work on Relational Self-Awareness has reached millions of people around the world. Dr. Solomon is a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University, and she is on faculty in the School of Education and Social Policy at Northwestern University where she teaches the internationally renowned course, “Building Loving and Lasting Relationships: Marriage 101.” In addition to writing articles and chapters for leading academic journals and books in the field of marriage and family, she is the author of two bestselling books, Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back. Dr. Solomon regularly presents to diverse groups that include the United States Military Academy at West Point and Microsoft, and she is frequently asked to talk about relationships with media outlets like The Today Show, O Magazine, The Atlantic, Vogue, and Scientific American.

Dr. Solomon is generously offering listeners of the Terri Cole Show a 10% discount on her course, Intimate Relationships 101, which you can find through her website. Type in the code “terricole” at checkout to redeem the discount.

Here are some ways we can connect and grow together:

I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT BOUNDARIES! Boundary Boss is THE essential guidebook for authentically expressing your desires, setting healthy limits and bringing more satisfaction, joy and peace into all of your personal and professional relationships. There are super JUICY bonuses when you pre-order, so what are you waiting for?

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