When something happens in your life, especially something you find less than desirable, do you look at your part, or do you find yourself blaming others?

I want to challenge you to get really honest. Do you say, “Ok, that was a bad call; I’m sorry.” or “No way. It was someone else’s fault.”

When you don’t take responsibility for yourself and your life, you put yourself in a victim role. If it is always someone else’s fault, you are not empowered—you are just a victim of what others are doing.

You may not even be aware that you are rocking a false belief that someone else in the driver’s seat of your life. Although you cannot control anyone else, you can always take responsibility for how you respond to a situation. Believing someone else can make or break your happiness or success is simply inaccurate.

The first step to creating your own happiness is to take full responsibility for your life, good and bad. And when you do, people will respect you, and, more importantly, you will respect you. When you find yourself repeating an old script, “if only so and so had done such and such…” stop talking, take a deep breath, and reframe.

Awareness is the first step to changing behavior. Taking ownership of all of your decisions is the only way to create the extraordinary life you deserve.

I am straight up asking you if you take personal responsibility. Drop a comment; let’s discuss!

I hope you have an amazing week and, as always, take care of you.

Love Love Love




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  1. I consider personal responsibility to be one of my core values, perhaps even my number one value. So yes, taking personal responsibility for my life is a daily goal for me. I’m always reminded of disabled people who accomplish great things despite physical impairments that would justify playing the victim. These people inspire me.

  2. Hello Beautiful Terri,

    You are sooooo right on! There is no power if you don’t own our stuff. When you don’t you have to put the energy somewhere so it gets buried… and builds up into bigger issues later on!

    In response to your question… I don’t always OWN up but I do it more and more because since I’ve been studying energy I truly see the cause and effect of my actions! Paying attention, being in the moment, is another way to really see how things work or don’t in our lives.

    Great big hugs,

  3. The short answer is sometimes… I find it easier to take responsibility at work than in my personal life and I am understanding more and more how that has been affecting my personal happiness. So thanks for the timely reminder Terri.

  4. I’ve learned to take responsibility for my life and actions. I think the problem is, when I’m wrong, I am very hard on myself and beat myself up about it. Moving on from a mistake I made is extremely difficult and draining. How do I get rid of this “need to be perfect/punished” mentality?

  5. To comment, I agree; I believe I am not a victim when things happen to me.
    Of course the moment something lights a rage in me and I feel personally attacked
    I will quickly be a major victim and blame this or that person. but I have learned to be open to a different perspective and believe there’s an opportunity for growth -especially when it hurts- and that when it pass or as you’re in the mist of it you can accept a new attitude that I chose this and this happened ‘for me’ not ‘to me’. Not sure you follow that because I’m speaking on the surface of a recent experience with a man who I constantly keep choosing, who hurts me- but I know this and choose him. So when he does his familiar sabatoge and I’m weeping, I know I made this happen by choosing him. One woman has recently gave me advice, she said, “a leopard never changes his spots”. Yikes-but true.

  6. How do you balance this with taking TOO much personal responsibility to the point where you blame yourself for everything? What is appropriate self talk to deal with these situations? I can take a situation and analyze it to the point where I can blame myself for actions/inaction for the whole situation or I can blame someone else entirely (and then do a double back and blame myself for blaming them!) What do you do when you do feel like you are taking responsibility but you are punching yourself in the face in the process?

  7. I was, because as you state, I was unaware I was doing it. I recently came to the same conclusion on my own that you made in your post. This only serves as confirmation that I am on the right path.

    Yes, I was like water… I was taking the path of least resistance through life and was eventually dumped out at the lowest point.

    It “seems” like such a long way back to the top. But that too, is only a perception.

  8. Marg,

    I fully relate. But if we are not transformed and live in the Truth and by the Truth in Love , how can we expect to have joyful, fulfilling and satisfying relationships? Fear of what will happen when we live our faith should not be the rudder of our consciousness. How can our Spirits and physical beings be congruent if we do not expressly live by our Truth?

    Just a thought.


  9. Hi Terri,

    I love the fact that you reinforce taking personal responsibility equals taking back your power in your life. It’s o true that if we play the victim, we always end up feeling helpless and at the mercy of others. After a 16 year “desert” in my life I am awakened to this very fact. I spent the best past of the last twenty years of my life recriminating others for my loss, my lack and pretty much the state of my life – which needless to say was a mess! Having come from a Christian structure I also blamed God for having abandoned me because I had NO beauty and abundance of any kind in my life. I am thankful to admit now that I do take responsibility for my life circumstances both the good and not so good. Praise be to the Eternal Beloved!

  10. For sure I own up to my mistakes. Wrong is Wrong. BUT, and that is a big one when it comes to my own happiness, to the kind of life I want I do find myself deferring to others. Don’t know if that is the same thing, but my choices are often not my own. Don’t really come out and express myself, especially in my closest relationships. Hmm. What would happen if I did?


  11. Thank you for this ..what a great reminder as a yogi and yoga instructor I am constantly re-reminded of this .. In my classes as well as my life off the mat .

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