How do you feel about change? Are you secretly angry when someone has the nerve to take your spot in your favorite workout class or if your go-to face cream is discontinued? If you said yes, then you are in good company. As humans, we are born with a resistance or aversion to change as a survival technique. This was an adaptive response long ago when change equaled potential danger. Although times have changed, our instinct to avoid change remains the same.
The irony of this reality is, as my pal Davidji would say, “Change is the only thing we know for sure we can count on to happen.”
This week’s Real Love Revolution video is all about how to recognize, reframe and overcome your fear of change.
This aversion to change can block you from creating what you want in your life, including real love. It is a common phenomenon for people to stay unhappily in relationships that need to change but don’t because they would rather contend with, the devil they know, than risk doing something different. Recognizing the thoughts that need to change is the first step to changing anything. If you’ve decided that there’s no hope for finding real love in this lifetime, or that your relationship will always be disappointing or contentious, you are probably right. Those beliefs are paradigms or constructs in your mind, that can absolutely, with intention, be changed. But you must be aware of them and have the desire for change. After you have the conscious desire, you must be willing to feel some discomfort and fear as you’re making the change.
A way to reframe the fear associated with positive changes or challenges is to decide that what you’re feeling is “anticipatory excitement,” which is actually different than fear. When you can normalize that feeling as simply the way you feel when stepping outside of your comfort zone, you can start to change the way you relate to it. Even though we have this tendency towards keeping life the same and comfortable, in this week’s video I go over the psychological and emotional stages of change and how to get the most out of each stage to make your changes successful.
In this video, you will learn:
- How to Define Change
- How to Reframe Fear of Change
- The Stages of Change (and How to Make the Most of Them)
I want to inspire you to change what is not working in your life and in your relationship. This will require having the courage to do something different. Click the download button below to access the Stages of Change Handout to help you master this never-ending process of change.
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Thanks for watching, reading, and sharing!
And as always, take care of YOU.