This week, I want to talk about the anatomy of an authentic apology. Do you know how to say you’re sorry and mean it?

Let’s look at a couple of common ways people think they’re apologizing, but they’re actually not:

1. Do you say, “I’m sorry, but ___________” (fill in the blank with the why of the offending action)? For example, “I’m sorry, but I was tired” or “I’m sorry, but you were annoying me.”

2. Do you act out your feeling of remorse rather than putting words on it? For example, a friend of mine told me that in thirteen years of marriage, her husband has never said “I’m sorry,” but she knows he is because he acts nicer than usual.

I want you to think about how you apologize and what you need to do to actually BE sorry and communicate it in an authentic and effective way.

If this tips resonates with you and you have a comment to share, please post it here. If you like it, please press the “like” button and post it on Facebook and Twitter.

I hope you have an amazing week, and, as always, take care of you.

Love Love Love

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  1. Hello Terri,
    you found me on twitter and delighted I am to be found! this is a terrific site – and yes, a great post. I always think that apologies only work when we really own our part in the interaction, and then fully forgive ourselves – can be pretty uncomfortable sometimes!! When we have done that then we can apologize because we are not still trying to Win something or hide from something.
    I hope to stay in touch with you,
    be well, Kate

  2. Wow! This is right on par with what I experienced at work today. I had to call tech support to help me re-set my password. Needless to say I ended up getting WAY more frustrated than I needed to with the person on the other line who was obviously just doing her job. As soon as the issue was resolved and I hung up the call I took a breathe and realized that I was not treating her the way I would want to be treated. I emailed her immediately letting her know I was sorry with no BUTS. Just a straight up, I apologize for my tone and frustration, thank you for your assistance and have a wonderful day. In the past I would have certainly thrown in a few buts and this is why I treated you like I did…but I’ve done..about 10 years of deep inner work and the process continues to unfold. I am not superhuman but am thankful that when I do mess up I can realize it and take the right action. Great topic!

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