This unique moment is fleeting. Put down your FREAKIN’ phone & BE HERE NOW @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET}

Do you ever think about the way the ‘tech revolution’ or ‘information age’ is impacting the way we relate to each other? As a therapist and an observer, I think about it a lot.

There is no doubt you’ve experienced interacting with someone who is distracted by their phone. Being on the receiving end of that interaction can leave you feeling unimportant and disrespected. Trying to have a conversation with someone who is only half listening is an exercise in frustration (unless you are also only half listening then perhaps you are a match made in heaven.) People communicate differently when they are attempting to multitask anything with technology. Scientists are now even saying that being constantly plugged in “…can change how people think and behave. They say our ability to focus is being undermined by bursts of information,” according to journalist Matt Richtel.

Inability to focus leads to a lack of presence which can lead to major challenges in communication, and therefore in relationships. You cannot truly connect unless you are fully engaged. And you cannot be fully engaged when you are texting, Instagramming or Candy Crushing it on your phone. You just can’t. If you are constantly attached to your phone and only listening with your ears as your eyes check Facebook, you are ripping yourself off of actually experiencing real intimacy.

A missed MEMORY is worse than a missed TEXT @Terri_Cole {CLICK TO TWEET}

Our society has become addicted to distraction and breaking the cycle begins with you! This week I challenge you to put your phone down (and flip it over!). Listen, with your eyes and ears to connect with those around you. Look at the person who is speaking to you, be present for them. And be present for you. When you’re walking, eating or trying to relax, put down your phone. Be with yourself and enjoy the present moment. Don’t miss out on your life and what you could have experienced because you were staring at a cell phone screen.

I challenge you to join me this week and take the pledge to #LookUp, which means committing to not being on your phone while talking to others, walking, driving or eating for 7 full days. Use the hashtag #Lookup and let me hear from you in the comments below. Are you in?

I hope so and as always, take care of you.

Love Love Love




*image courtesy of Ian Higgins

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  1. May I endorse your video. My life as a builder had me on the phone, incessantly. Of late, I decided to put my phone away when with my daughter or friends. To let the messages pile up and review.

    Result: I feel like I hear and am in the loop with activities that skimmed by me.
    Also I am a better driver!

    Not a bad 2 for one.

    1. Thank you for sharing an example of how putting down our phones can and does increase our present moment awareness. Keep up the good work!

  2. I’ll take the #LookUp pledge. The only time I’ll have a problem with it is when I am eating alone, so it will be good to practice mindful eating. I’m going to challenge my family to do it as well. This year we are hosting Thanksgiving and there will be at least 29 in attendance. I have decided that everyone will need to give up their phones at the door. Not too much to ask for one afternoon of family and friends.

    Live well!

    1. Mantha, I love your ‘phone free’ idea for Thanksgiving. Great job setting the standard and passing along the challenge. Rock on! #LookUp

  3. This topic resonates so close to me . I have just broke up with a group of friends who did not know how to relate and converse while on vacation in Greece without using iPads. phones .laptops while dining. Every meal was an obsession of getting on WIFI and I was a odd woman out. I did feel rejected and unimportant and this group did not understand me. In fact, I was ostracized and it hurt. People have become self righteous about it…

    1. I’m sorry you had that experience Barbara. It seems you understand first hand why giving our full attention to others is so important. difficult as it may feel, try to not take their misdirected attention personally. Technology obsession is becoming an epidemic. Lets set a new standard by practicing presence in all our interactions. #LookUp

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