7 Ways to Recognize a Codependent Relationship on The Terri Cole Show

7 Ways to Recognize a Codependent Relationship on The Terri Cole Show

Lately, I’ve been a few people have asked me questions about one of my favorite topics…codependency. In my younger life, so much of my pain came from codependency, and overcoming codependency freed me up to love myself and others in an empowering way.

On today’s show, I share the 7 ways you can recognize if you are in a codependent relationship. Codependency can happen in any type relationship, not just a romantic one. I’ll lead you through a series of questions to help you figure out if, where, and when you might be in a codependent relationship.

I hope you see this episode as a way to think about what you can change as you get curious about shifting your relationship with your partner.

You can Subscribe to the Podcast on iTunes/Apple Podcasts, SoundCloud, Stitcher or TuneIn.

And please leave me a Rating and Review!

“You need someone who is coming to the party with his own party.” – Terri Cole

Show Notes:

  • What codependency is
  • How to know if you are in a codependent relationships
  • What broken wing syndrome is
  • How to clean up your side of the street
  • Why you might be obsessed with controlling other people’s behavior
  • Ways to heal from a codependent relationship
  • How to invest in someone’s feelings in a healthy way
  • What blocks real love
  • Where codependency shows up in your life

“When you are codependent, the line between where you end and the other person starts are completely blurred.” – Terri Cole

Links Mentioned:

“Such a part of codependency is not allowing the person suffer their own consequences.” – Terri Cole

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  1. Hi Teri,

    Thanks for this podcast. I am curious though about an “over-functioning” partner when the other partner isn’t necessarily “underfunctioning”. I have an over-functioning partner and it comes across in a way that it’s like they are “pre-crastinating” on things that “need to be addressed” before they need to be addressed, or at times don’t even exist. For example:

    1) Making a grocery list over a week in advance and, if I buy things before they think they are needed, I get “in trouble”.
    2) Does not allow me to draw boundaries but expects me to honor all of theirs
    3) Telling me not to spend money on things that they deem to be an unnecessary expense when they claim they do not want control of my spending

    I do tons of shopping, cleaning, and contribute as much as I can to our household. I am currently unemployed and that is adding stress and has been for some time now.

    How do I reclaim my power and have my boundaries respected?


    1. Eddie,
      To me this sounds like a straight up case of overtly and covertly attempting to control you, your behavior AND your spending. Being extremely “particular” about how and when things are done under the guise of it being the “right way” (according to them) is a way of retaining control. The boundary double standard is also concerning. Even if your partner is bringing something else super amazing to the party these relational patterns are redflags. Do you think they would be willing to admit their part in this unequal power dynamic and work on it with you in therapy or on your own? That would be my suggestion. I am sending you strength and courage to prioritize yourself xo

      1. Thank you for the thoughtful comments. They are “aware” of the power dynamic, but claim that they never wanted it and it was “given” to them. I am hoping that some couples therapy is in the cards. They’re a lovely person in SO many ways but this often has me feeling totally inferior.

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