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“When you have a mother who wants to be your best friend, it makes the separating and differentiating process even harder than it already is.” – Terri Cole
Intro
Have you ever wondered if your relationship with your mother was normal? Or noticed patterns in your adult relationships and traced them back to something that happened long before you had words for it?
Mother-daughter relationships can be among the most complicated we ever have. Whether the dynamic between you was loving, painful, confusing, or somewhere in between, it impacted you. After almost 30 years as a clinician, I’ve seen seven recurring archetypes, and that’s what this episode covers: what each one looks like, and the lasting impact it can have on your adult life.
One thing before we start. Mother here means whoever raised you. It could be a grandmother, an older sibling, or an aunt. What matters is the dynamic, not the biology.
That’s it. Just that.
Highlights:
- 3:50 The societal pressure we feel around relationships with our mothers
- 5:30 The “role reversal” and parentification
- 8:30 “Hot and cold” mothers without good emotional self-regulation
- 11:10 The “self-obsessed” mother
- 13:15 The “bestie”
- 15:55 The perfectionist
- 18:00 The “good enough” mother
- 20:20 The “rejecting” or unavailable mother
- 21:45 Why early attachment experiences impact us
Links Mentioned:
Find the guide I made to go along with today’s episode here.
Sign up for my upcoming mother wound course here: https//www.terricole.com/motherwound/
Join the Terri Cole Membership at https://www.terricole.com/tcm/ to find a soft place to land in a hard world– Somewhere to share accountability and community to improve your mental health while you live your everyday life.
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