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“People often assume that sex is about just sex– But it’s really about attachment, vulnerability, and who we are as people.” – Todd Baratz


I am so excited to have fellow therapist Todd Baratz on the show to talk about his new book, How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind: Forget the Fairy Tale and Get Real. You might know Todd on Instagram as @yourdiagnonsense, which is how I came across his amazing work.

Todd wrote this book for anyone feeling stuck in their relationship, and it was inspired by his own relationship struggles. As we mention in the interview, just because we’re therapists doesn’t mean we have it all figured out!

We cover a range of topics, from what inspired Todd to write this book and become a therapist specializing in sex, to the importance of differentiation in long-term relationships and intergenerational trauma.

I hope you enjoy this therapist jam as much as I did.


  • 3:35 The inspiration behind Todd’s new book, How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind
  • 9:40 Navigating the stigma around discussing sex
  • 12:10 Who Todd’s new book is for
  • 13:40 Why we should understand our parents as human beings
  • 19:30 Distinguishing between true toxic traits vs. over-pathologized traits
  • 22:44 The importance of differentiating for function in a long-term relationship

Connect with Todd Baratz

Todd is a AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC NY 006459), with a Bachelors degree in Cultural Psychology from New York University and a Masters degree in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Miami. He’s also a couples psychotherapist, podcast host, and writer.

Todd believes the societal definition of what is considered “normal” when it comes to mental health is limiting and can have a profound impact on how we view ourselves and others. He says, “The idea that there is a specific standard to which we should all conform creates a culture of comparison and judgement, leading to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt and even illness. This is particularly harmful when coupled with the many societal systems of oppression that exist in our world, such as those based on gender, sexuality, race, socioeconomic status, and politics. These systems further perpetuate unrealistic expectations, emotional pain, and trauma, and can leave individuals feeling isolated, unsupported, and invalidated in their experiences. It is important to recognize that everyone’s experiences are unique and valid, and that there is no one-size-fits-all definition of what is ‘normal’ when it comes to mental health.”



Here are some ways we can connect and grow together:

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