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“It’s normal to want to protect ourselves— But we have to be able to discern between real danger and what our egos perceive as danger.” – Terri Cole

Intro

When someone comes to you with negative feedback, do you get defensive?

Do you automatically come up with reasons why you did something, building a case for the way you did it?

Do you shift the blame onto someone else?

Or does your heart start racing?

If this resonates, you are not alone. It is human to want to defend your choices, actions, and beliefs.

But defensiveness damages our relationships, which is why this episode is all about becoming more aware of defensive behavior and what you can do instead.

I am covering the signs and symptoms of defensiveness, why we get defensive in the first place, and strategies you can use to become less defensive.

Highlights:

• 4:50 What it means to be defensive
• 8:05 What does a defensive state look like?
• 13:50 The harm of being defensive in a relationship
• Strategies to stop being defensive
  • 18:30 Raise your self-esteem
  • 19:25 Understand your triggers
  • 20:10 Practice mindfulness
  • 21:00 Reframe critical feedback as a growth opportunity
  • 21:30 Listen to learn with an open mind

Links Mentioned:

Find the downloadable guide I made to go along with today’s episode here.

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