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“Sometimes, we give people ultimatums because we cannot tolerate being treated a particular way. We’re not trying to control them. A deal breaker is about us– us deciding, ‘What will I tolerate, and what will I not tolerate?’” – Terri Cole



When should you stop trying to make it work with a partner who is seemingly uninterested in self-improvement?

What do you do when the love between you and your partner is no longer enough?

How can you keep yourself from falling back into old roles within your family of origin when visiting home, especially if you’ve grown and changed?

And when is it time to consider moving into independent living when you are a full-time caregiver for your spouse?

I answer all of these questions in this Q&A episode, which is all about relationship dynamics. Let’s dive in.


  • 3:45 “How do I stop putting everyone else’s needs above my own?”
  • 6:30 “What should I consider when thinking about moving to an independent living community with my partner?”
  • 8:50 “How many chances does a person deserve before you give up?”
  • 15:20 “How do I deliver news about changes to my partner?”
  • 18:00 “Is there a less threatening way to approach changing a partner’s behavior?”

Links Mentioned:

Find the downloadable guide I made to go along with today’s episode here.

You can send your own (succinct!) questions to

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