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“When we validate one another, we differentiate ourselves as individuals while acknowledging that both of our experiences are worth respect.” – Terri Cole



Have you ever confided in someone you wanted comfort from only to be told…

“It could be worse.”

“At least it wasn’t X, Y, or Z!”

“Look on the bright side…”

“I don’t know why you are making such a big deal…”

These are all examples of emotional invalidation.

Maybe you’ve even said these things to others, unintentionally invalidating them. This is common if we’re high-functioning codependents and other people’s distress causes us distress.

But even if your heart is in the right place, emotional invalidation can damage your relationships.

That’s why in today’s episode, I’m breaking down what emotional invalidation is, discussing why so many of us are emotional invalidators and offering ways to emotionally validate our loved ones so that we can strengthen our relationships.


  • 02:30 Understand emotional validation and invalidation
  • 05:20 How we learn to emotionally invalidate others from our early life
  • 07:40 Separating intentional and unintentional emotional invalidation
  • Learn to make your relationships safer
    • 13:40 Don’t jump to the silver lining
    • 15:20 Validating someone’s experience doesn’t have to mean agreeing with them
    • 18:10 Mirror your loved one for clarity and accuracy
    • 19:40 Make room to truly empathize

Links Mentioned:

This episode is sponsored by Storyworth. Go to for $10 off your first order.

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Find the downloadable guide I made to go along with today’s episode here.

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