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“Some enablers are so deep into abusive systems that they are unaware of their own injuries and their own part in abuse. That isn’t an excuse for their crappy behavior, but it is a reminder that it’s your job to draw boundaries with these folks in your own life.”
– Terri Cole



When you seek support from a friend or family member about something hurtful someone else did or said to you, do you ever hear things like:

“Well, it takes two to tango…” or

“You’re too sensitive…” or

“You need to let it go…” or

“Why can’t you just forgive and forget…” or… any variation of thereof?

If there are people in your life who can’t wait to blame you for the crappy behavior of someone else, I created this 2-part series for you. 

In part 1 of Identify + Manage Abuse Enablers, I’m breaking down the different ways people in your life might be contributing to an environment that fosters toxic behaviors and relationships.


  • 04:53 Common phrases you might hear from abuse enablers
  • 05:35 Motivations for enabling in narcissistic and abusive systems
  • 07:17 How enablers use guilt to justify abuse and minimize your experience
  • 10:00 Create firm boundaries instead of trying to convince abuse enablers that you are right

Links Mentioned:

Find the downloadable guide I made to go along with today’s episode here.

Take the boundary quiz and learn more about your Boundary Style

Here are some ways I can support you:

I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT BOUNDARIES! Boundary Boss is THE essential guidebook for authentically expressing your desires, setting healthy limits and bringing more satisfaction, joy and peace into all of your personal and professional relationships. Purchase your copy now!

TAKE THE BOUNDARY STYLE QUIZ I always say, ya can’t change anything until you become aware of it, so take the quiz and discover your unique boundary style!

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