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“A lot of us have to learn that we cannot fix other people and that it is going to be uncomfortable and painful to sit in distress. That’s okay.” – Whitney Goodman

Intro

Do you have a friend who always has to follow up your bad day with “It could be worse”? Are you the one who has a hard time just listening when your loved ones need to vent? Both of these scenarios are examples of toxic positivity: when a positive mindset goes too far and makes you feel like having (and sharing) bad feelings isn’t allowed. 

Today’s guest Whitney Goodman is an expert on toxic positivity. She is the radically honest psychotherapist behind the Instagram account @Sitwithwhit as well as an author and the owner of her own therapy practice in Miami, FL, The Collaborative Counseling Center. In this episode, Whitney teaches us how to leave behind toxic positivity to become authentic and supportive — for ourselves and the people we love.

Highlights:

• 02:55 How Whitney found inspiration to write her book,Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy
• 03:42 Understanding toxic positivity
• 05:14 How to combat toxic positivity in your workplace
• 06:53 Becoming comfortable with discomfort
• 11:10 How Whitney developed an active Instagram following despite pushback
• 12:45 Handling toxic positivity in the wake of loss
• 14:12 How Whitney’s childhood in a family that had to seem perfect led her to the topic of toxic positivity
• 16:10 Has your own positive outlook turned toxic or dismissive?
• 18:22 Watch out for positive reinforcement of toxic positivity when negative emotions are forbidden
• 19:20 The huge, silent costs of toxic positivity

Connect with Whitney Goodman:

Whitney Goodman is the radically honest psychotherapist behind the popular Instagram account @sitwithwhit and owner of the Collaborative Counseling Center, a private therapy practice in Miami. She helps individuals and couples heal past wounds and create the life they’ve always wanted. Her work has been featured in dozens of publications and programs, including The New York Times, Teen Vogue, New York magazine, InStyle, and Good Morning America. Goodman lives in Miami with her husband and their two dogs, Luna and Charlie, and her son.

For better or worse, toxic positivity is having a moment, with experts and media outlets like the Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, and Entrepreneur calling out the ways our endless pursuit of the positive causes more harm than good.

In her new book TOXIC POSITIVITY: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy, Whitney Goodman – the therapist behind popular Instagram account SitWithWhit (449k followers) – unpacks the pervasive ways that toxic positivity damages relationships, stunts creativity, leads to higher rates of stress and burnout, and even compels us to whitewash history.

A powerful guide to owning the good, bad, and ugly of our emotions, TOXIC POSITIVITY offers actionable insights and tips for accepting and working through negative emotions. From how to spot shame masked as positivity to the benefits of negativity in the workplace to the role toxic positivity plays in enforcing systemic racism and oppression, TOXIC POSITIVITY reveals what we gain by accepting our true emotions: a life filled with more authenticity, connection, and equality.

Here are some ways we can connect and grow together:

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