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“Emotional manipulation is a calculated effort to control you. Expressing your needs, desires, and limits can set these personalities off.” – Terri Cole
Intro
Have you ever been in an argument with someone and before the end of the argument, even though they have done something quite egregious, you find yourself apologizing?
Have you ever been in a heated exchange with someone and they straight up deny the thing you know they did? This could sound like, “What are you talking about?”; “I never said/did that.”; or, “I’m worried about you.”
If you are nodding your head yes, then you are in luck because in today’s episode of The Terri Cole Show, this is exactly what I’m addressing. Emotional manipulation is real, people! The more you know about it, the less you will fall victim to it. I’m teaching you all about Boundary Destroyers and their tactics so you can effectively protect yourself.
Highlights:
- 03:09 Introduction to boundary destroyers
- 04:11 Tactic: Flipping the script on you
- 05:14 Tactic: Making you the object of concern
- 06:15 Tactic: Blowing something out of proportion
- 08:19 Tactic: Gaslighting
- 11:17 Tactic: Love-Bombing
- 15:30 How to protect yourself from boundary destroyers
Links Mentioned:
How to Safely Leave an Abusive Relationship
Access your ‘Spot Emotional Manipulation’ Guide
Take the boundary quiz and learn more about your Boundary Style
Here are some ways I can support you:
I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT BOUNDARIES! Boundary Boss is THE essential guidebook for authentically expressing your desires, setting healthy limits and bringing more satisfaction, joy and peace into all of your personal and professional relationships. There are super JUICY bonuses when you pre-order, so what are you waiting for?
TAKE THE BOUNDARY STYLE QUIZ I always say, ya can’t change anything until you become aware of it, so take the quiz and discover your unique boundary style!
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Hi Terri,
Thanks for another great episode. The part that I’m curious about is codependent and narcissists being a perfect couple. If you were raised by a couple like that, is it possible to have tendencies of both? After I listened to the part about love bombing, I feared I might be following this narcissistic cycle in my relationships. However I have a lot of codependent people pleasing tendencies (especially with my kids). Can you direct me to the podcast which discussed in more detail? Thank you!
Hi Isabelle,
Thank you sharing! I agree that the tendencies of our parents can affect us and our behavior. If you are witnessing a lot of covert narcissistic and codependent behaviors, it will be natural for you to take on some of those yourself. Learning to identify which ones those are, and being aware in those moments will help you to bring your consciousness to the issue and face it directly. ❤️
I’m co-parenting with a narcissist and now that my kids are teenagers it’s a nightmare. I’m going to read your guide and hope that me modeling boundaries will inspire my kids to do the same.
Hi Shannon,
I’m glad this blog is resonating and helping you to inspire your children! I’m holding space for you while you navigate this ❤️
Listening to this was such good timing. My husband is a narcissist and I am coming out of codependence. I’ve felt like leaving him for a number of years but somehow I never get the courage. He’s more subtle than the examples you give but the essence is the same, and I doubt myself. Yesterday I was never closer to going, today I was wavering again until I heard your podcast. Thank you so much. It is so hard when no one else sees this side of him. He is passive aggressive rather than raging, clever and controlling and very manipulative. Thank you thank you thank you.
Hi Alex,
I’m glad this helped you feel seen and understood. It sounds like classic emotional manipulation. I’m glad you’re here with us! I’m holding space for you with so much compassion while you navigate this marriage and your own path ❤️