You made it! Day 5!

Welcome to the grand finale of the Too Much Reset for my hardcore people who are still here.

Because you know, it’s inevitable that people drop off.

But not you. You showed up every single day.

Yesterday, we talked about allowing and accepting, and so many of you shared in the comments how incredibly hard it is, or has been, for you. Just like me.

And that honesty?

That's the whole point of what we're doing here.

So. Day 5. The last assignment. And honestly?

This might be the most challenging one of all.

Feel It, Don't Fix It.

When you're a high-functioning codependent, a lot of times when negative feelings come up, upset feelings, angry feelings, uncomfortable feelings, you want to get into action.

You want to DO something. Fix something. Solve something.

Anything to not have to sit with what you're actually feeling.

Sound familiar?

This plays out in two directions:

The first way, someone else is in pain and their pain is creating pain for you.

So you jump in. You want to fix it.

You know you probably shouldn't, but the discomfort of watching them hurt is unbearable, so you start managing, advising, solving.

The second way, YOU are in pain and instead of feeling it, you run.

You minimize. You tell yourself "it's fine" before you've even processed what happened.

I used to have a therapy client who would tell me literally the worst thing you've ever heard, a horrible situation with her husband, and then immediately say, "Listen, it's fine."

I would be like, "Literally stop saying that, please.

What you just described is not fine."

But there was this automatic desire to make it okay. It was ingrained.

Habituated. She'd been doing it so long she didn't even hear herself saying it anymore. (Eventually, with a deeper understanding of herself and slowing down enough to feel, she was able to kick that habit of minimizing.)

Here's the thing we don't talk about enough: the urge to fix is often just the urge to not feel.

And when we skip the feeling and go straight to the fixing, we miss the information our emotions are trying to give us.

Today's Daily Action: Feel It, Don't Fix It

Today I'm asking you to notice what happens when uncomfortable feelings come up. Not to change it. Not to fix it. Just to notice.

Ask yourself:

When an uncomfortable feeling shows up, what's your go-to move? Do you jump into action? Minimize it? Distract yourself? Tell yourself "it's fine"?

When someone you love is in pain, can you sit with them in it, or do you immediately start trying to solve it?

When YOU are in pain, do you let yourself feel it, or do you skip straight to "I'm okay" before you've even checked?

Write it all down. Then go to the Day 5 Challenge Page and tell me everything. How was today? How has this entire experience been for you? I would love to know. I can't wait to read your insights on this one.

Good luck with Day 5.

I know it might feel challenging, and I lovingly invite you to do it anyway.

P.S. And here's the exciting part: we're not done.

I'm continuing this conversation with a FREE live training: 5 Sneaky Ways Doing Too Much May Be Negatively Affecting Your Relationships.
(PS, it's probably not what you think. 😏)

The training is on February 26th at 12 pm ET.

This is where we take everything you've been raising your awareness about this week and go deeper. I'm super pumped.

[Here’s your link to join the free training]

And if this week made you realize you're ready to actually break the cycle, not just see it, Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency starts March 3rd. Head to terricole.com/btc for all the details.

PPS. Need to catch up?  You can click here to immediately go to any days you missed!