I’m super passionate about effective communication, and a HUGE barrier to effective communication and healthy relationships is DEFENSIVENESS.
Some of you are probably already familiar with Dr. John Gottman’s work and his crazy ability (over 90% accuracy) to be able to predict divorce after spending a limited amount of time with a couple.
According to his research, one of the four factors (or “horsemen of the apocalypse”) that is important to AVOID is “defensiveness”. Today, we dive into what defensiveness is, how to heal defensive communication in your relationship and more.
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“You have something you want to say to your partner? Start it with softness. Start it with a positive. Be aware of what your intention is. Do you want to be right or do you want to be understood?” – Terri Cole
Show Notes:
- What is the relationship between defensiveness and criticism
- How to have a productive dialogue
- How to be future-focused
- What is athletic listening
- How to heal resentment
- Tips for building relationships
- How to have a healthy relationship
“Dialogue is not the same as a debate.” – Terri Cole
Links Mentioned:
“People will tell the truth about the way they feel if you are a soft and open receptical (basically) for their information.” – Terri Cole
Voluntary Vulnerability