Shadow addiction is a term I originated to describe socially acceptable behaviors that numb our emotions and create distractions that keep us in familiar dysfunctional patterns and behaviors…

When we think of “addicts”—whether it is gambling, sex, drugs, alcohol, food, fitness, etc.—we think of a person whose compulsive behavior is out of control and obvious but there is more than one way addictive tendencies can express themselves.

Though shadow addictions might not lead immediately (or ever) to the total shit show that full blown addictions tend to, they foster emotional confusion instead of emotional clarity, and that blocks our growth.

Besides dulling the pain that could motivate us to personally evolve, eventually these dysfunctional behaviors will create distraction pain (like poor health or booze-fueled drama) that co-opt our bandwidth and drain our energy. Not a whole lot of psychic space to be present in life when you’re constantly putting out the fires you unconsciously set to distract yourself from the real issues.

Shadow addictions do not necessarily interfere with managing your everyday life responsibilities, such as work, working out or taking care of kids but not being debilitated does not mean the behavior is not negatively impacting the quality of your life.