Do you consider yourself a lucky person? Do you attribute the good things and successes that come your way to luck?

When I was working with a therapist early in my career as a talent agent, I would tell her, “You know, I guess I’m just lucky. The promotions and other synchro-tastic events just seem to find me. Right place; right time.”

She asked, “Do you work hard?”

I said, “Of course, and I have for years.”

She responded, “I know, so why do you keep attributing your success to luck.”

When I started to dig deep into the “why” of minimizing my accomplishments, I discovered I was afraid to succeed. I was afraid to admit that I had accomplished something on my own merit. As the youngest of four sisters, I was unconsciously afraid of surpassing them and thereby potentially losing their love, affection, attention, and acceptance. If I played it off as luck or did not make a big deal of it, they would not feel threatened. So I thought.

Once I gained clarity about this behavior, which, let’s face it, doesn’t feel good, I stopped. It feels crappy because it’s disingenuous. It’s simply not true. I was creating a web of lies in an effort to make myself small and not hurt anyone else’s feelings. I was not living my truth and owning my life.

Denying what is real by dimming your light also robs you of the joy of gratitude. How can you be grateful for something you are not willing to recognize?

I wonder if you do the same. Do you play the luck card or minimize your accomplishments or skill set out of fear? If so, in what areas of your life do you find yourself doing this? Do you know why you do this? If you have overcome this issue, how did you do it? How do you continue to keep yourself on track?

This week, I want to challenge you to own your accomplishments and step into your power. Resist the urge to play small or reject authentic praise out of false humility. See how it feels to own your life, since you are the only one who can!

I hope you have a powerful week, and, as always, take care of you.

Love love love


*Photo by ccarlstead.

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  1. I read this article and it was like you hit the nail on the head.
    Lol. People are often amazed at how often I meet people and very helpful people that are much further along the way and are willing to help. My answer was often luck! But if I’m being honest I have worked so hard to ensure that I am following my passion. Yes mayb I was fearful of how my friends and family reacted, but even with down playing my luck per say. They still have responded in a way that I tried to avoid by making out, that oh it was just by chance. Taking credit for your ability is something that I find hard to do. But you know what everyone has that ability it’s just if you are willing to tap into. From what have seen its the people that look over you in discontent are the same people that would be themselves fearful following their dreams, as it would mean a discomfort to their familiar surroundings.

    1. Krissi-
      Sounds like you are on the right track! I agree that we cannot make decisions about how we behave based on other people’s insecurities. Secure friends and family will delight in your successes and good self-esteem, insecure people will feel threatened but that is their problem and your job is to not engage in any of that unhealthy dancing 🙂

  2. Wow…it is amazing to think someone else has had these feelings. I am a 36 year old father of 5, who graduated with a degree in psychology last week and I totally down played it. The weekend prior my parents threw me a graduation party where I felt totally uncofrotable being the center of attention. Perhaps I am being a bit to modest?

    1. David-
      Thank you for your comment. I am not sure if it is modesty or learned humility but what i DO know is that we rob ourselves of something very powerful when we do not CELEBRATE our accomplishments. Congrats on all of your hard work as a father and student and a professional in the psychology field! So amazing and now it is time to model stepping into and owning your accomplishments for your many kids 😉

  3. Just a few days ago friends asked me why I don’t sell my gluten and dairy-free goodies because they are very good and I love making them. Right then all of the reasons why I shouldn’t came up, then the reasons why I need to look at this started to come in. I just realized that the playing small came in quickly (not good enough, not a journeyman baker, etc) when I was posed with an opportunity to stand in my light. Upon inner reflecting I was reminded of my 5 facets of harmony: my family, my glass art, my personal growth, my Kung Fu, and my food/nutrition. The latter wasn’t being expressed fully and now I have the opportunity to let it shine and and letting it shine in harmony with all the other facets.
    Thanks for the timely message,

    1. Sherri-
      I am glad the timing of this post was right and perfect for where you are! Yes own your talent and share your goodies please 😉
      love love love

  4. That really hit home with me – when amazing things happen for me, I don’t want to make it seem like they are a big deal so I usually don’t try to acknowledge them or even talk about them. It seems like being humble is so important but perhaps being humble to ourselves is not that good. I recently taught a teleclass and the school said it was the best class they had ever had and one of the students from Norway said it changed her life. I did not know how to say to myself what an amazing job I did or even to pat myself on the back. I think doing that more often is something each of us need to learn how to do.

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