Do you tell yourself that once you lose the 20 lbs you’ll be ready to dive into the dating pool?

What level of success do you think you need to reach before you are worthy of being loved?

Are you harsh and critical of yourself and others for any small mistake?

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For week two of the Real Love Revolution video series, we are tackling the topic of perfectionism. Many people believe being a perfectionist equals being successful – they brag about getting four hours of sleep because of work, they believe workaholism is necessary to reach their goals, and they use their achievements to avoid shame, blame, guilt and rejection.

Perfectionism not only causes you stress and unnecessary anxiety from this perceived need to always “get it right,” it actually prevents you from moving forward in your life and your relationships. The need to be perfect can be a result of an array of dysfunctional childhood experiences. This creates a fear of failure, which can make you extremely sensitive to any criticism, causing people to tip-toe around you and preventing them from communicating honestly with you. Fear of failure is also fear of rejection. You can’t share yourself authentically if you are always adapting your behavior to please others so they won’t reject you. So rather than looking at perfectionism as a synonym for success, let’s see it for what it truly is: a roadblock on your journey to real love, with yourself and with others.

In this video, you will get:

  • A quick expansion meditation
  • Tips for understanding how perfectionism is harmful to your relationships
  • A look at how your childhood may have caused your fear of failure and rejection
  • A checklist to assess your level of dysfunctional perfectionism
  • How to feel worthy for more than your accomplishments
  • And much more!

Click here for a checklist to analyze your potential perfectionist behaviors and leave me a comment here on the blog to let me know if it expanded your level of awareness about this topic. And don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel for direct access to every video from the Real Love Revolution each week, and please share the #RealLoveRevolution on social media because we could all use a little more love!

If you take the time to not only watch this video, but to truly analyze yourself via the checklist, I know you can raise your awareness about your need for perfection so you can start focusing on what’s right about your one of a kind life.

Thanks for watching, reading and sharing.

And as always, take care of you!

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    1. Janet,
      Good therapy can move your healing along very quickly so I say go for it! (and be kind to my pal Janet please 😉

  1. Wow! I honestly have never thought that I am a perfectionist, but I have a ton of these symptoms. However they were more extreme years ago. I have been doing a ton of self work and I’ve changed a lot, but have never really moved though my fear of failure AND fear of success. Very eye opening, I’ve extremely thankful for you and this video!

    1. Cindy,
      Thank you for your insightful comment and thank you for being on this journey with me! Keep up the good work mama <3

    1. Hey Barb!
      Coming from you this means the world so thank you for taking the time to watch and comment! You’re a peach <3

  2. Wow! Aha moments galore from this, thank you so much Terri! I recently had a session with my personal trainer in which he asked me to work to failure when doing press ups, so that I kept going until my knees hit the floor. I couldn’t do it! I stopped myself one or two press ups before I thought I was going to fail. A seemingly insignificant moment but for me it was a complete eye opener. I started to ask myself “when in my life have I ever actually failed?” Apart from a dance exam and my driving test, never (note, I can remember failing my dance exam at about age 15, I am now 36!). It really struck me that although I have been very successful in my career, I always chose the paths I thought were the safe bet rather than what I really wanted to do. When you’re a high achiever it’s so easy to disguise this because a lot of the things I take on other people consider to be risky, but I know they are within my capabilities, so I’m actually playing small. Right now I am setting up a new business and finding it tough because it is something I’m not sure I can do. I’ve also started dating again, although I am putting very little effort in because that way if I don’t meet anybody I can blame it on the rubbish dating sites! I also tend to give far too much time to men who really are not a good match for me or who are after one thing, another way of playing small and keeping myself safe from falling for someone and potentially being rejected. I have known for a long time that I am a chronic perfectionist but, as this video proves, I still have plenty to learn and a fair way to go in combatting it. Thank you so much Terri for all the work you do. Much love, Corinne Xx

    1. Corinne-
      Thank you so much for your insightful comment. I’m so excited for the part of your evolution that you are currently experiencing. The more you observe your behavior without judgement the more insight you’ll have AND the easier it is to overcome the limiting beliefs. Risking failure yeilds amazing results (even if you actually fail, which I have done many times). The growth from these experiences enriches your life in a way that nothing else can. You deserve to to live and love fully. You my friend are crushing it right now! Keep up the amazing work and keep me in the loop as to what happens and how I can support you xo

    1. Terri, I am glad that you share and have this program, I have for years always been the “work horse” and I have so many of the points on the list. I now 55 and am disabled and can not do any of the things physically that i grew up doing. I wish i could have changed when young because you are right this is not an easy job. as for now i fight against not being able to do the physical work and not able to do the brain work i never did: leaves me somewhat at a stand still and has caused me to to mentally have probs.
      thank you again for your time you spend on this program, any extra helping hint?

      1. Sandra-
        Thank you so much for sharing your story here with us. It is never to late to get your brain into shape! Don’t give up. Start by looking online for uplifting communities like this one to become apart of so you can make connections with others who are on an evolutionary journey. You are HERE NOW and ALIVE. Even if your bod won’t do what it used to-science tells us that we can indeed teach our old minds new tricks. Read, learn, meditate, write, breathe deep, find gratitude and continue to explore the vast stretches of geography in your one of a kind, amazing MIND. It’s up to you to choose to truly live, regardless of what has happened in the past. Marianne Williamson has a quote I love that might resonate with you in your situation: “Wherever you’ve been, and whatever you’ve done so far, your entire life was building up to this moment. Now is the time to burst forth into your greatness- a greatness you could never have achieved without going through exactly the things you’ve gone through. Everything you’ve experienced was grist for the mill by which you have become who you are. As low as you might have descended, in the divine there are no limits to how high you can go now. It is not too late. You are not too old. You are right on time. And you are better than you know.” ~The Long and Winding Road from the The Age of Miracles I am wishing you the very best and hope you will stay the course xoxo

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