How do you feel about forgiveness? Throughout the years as I talk about forgiveness to my clients, group coaching, and lectures, I find a lot of misconception around this idea.

When I encourage people to forgive a grievance, many of them feel I must not really understand the situation. They think my advice should be to never talk to the person again, NOT to forgive them. Let’s set the record straight about this all-too-common reaction.

The truth is Forgiveness Frees the Heart…. YOUR heart

Many times we feel a grudge as a heavy feeling in our heart. That feeling is constriction. All feelings are forms of energy, which is why we get a physical sensation from them. Since like energy attracts like, the constriction from not forgiving blocks the flow of your abundance.

When we release that negative bind to another person, that heaviness lifts allowing expansion (aka space) for you to love and trust again.

Forgiving is all about you. Deciding whether to hold anger or release it occurs in your mind. You decide how you want to feel. No one else does it for you.

So what is forgiveness? Forgiveness is not condoning the actions of the other party, rolling over, and giving up. It is not about losing anything or letting someone else dominate you. Forgiveness is about releasing you from the bitterness prison that negatively affects other areas of your life, like your ability to love and trust others based on a past scenario.

To help you move past the constriction and into the expansion of the universe, I have a forgiveness exercise for you. Make a list of all the people in your life you are holding a grudge against, close your eyes, and visualize a negative cord of energy (active resentment) attaching you to that person. Next take a deep breath and see yourself with a giant pair of scissors cutting that cord. Both you and the other party float away from each other, releasing the negative energetic bind. Continue to do this until you feel you have released the experience. If you are still struggling, write an unedited letter to the offender expressing all of your feelings. Read the letter to a trusted friend or simply aloud and then burn it someplace safe. Visualize the energetic cord being cut while you are burning the letter and silently repeat, I am FREE. Repeat the releasing process as needed and watch what shifts in your life.

Get honest about grievances and the energy it is stealing from your beautiful one-of-a-kind life.

Please drop a comment and post to Twitter and Facebook. I want to start a dialogue about forgiveness because it is that important of a topic.

I hope you have a heart-opening week.

Love Love Love


PS: There is a guided Forgiveness to Freedom meditation on my Meditation Transformation CD if you need a little help getting started ❤

PPS: The title cards to my videos this month were all drawn by my talented son, Alex Juhasz. Check him out: You will be seeing these designs again very soon in my L*O*V*E deck of cards… stay tuned for more details and product launch date!

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  1. Hi Terri. I’m Haley and i’m 14. I wanted to say that forgiveness may set you free, but it’s also something that can continue to hurt you. I keep forgiving someone who continues to hurt me. Everyone I forgive hurts me again. They don’t understand that trust is earned. They expect me to hand it to them. I love with an open and forgiving heart yet I keep getting burned. Some times I feel like shutting them all out to avoid the hurt they inflect on me.

    1. Haley-
      Please don’t mistake forgiveness with letting people take advantage of you. If someone in your life tells you they can not be trusted with the way they behave, believe them and make changes to whom you allow in your life. The forgiveness I am talking about is releasing resentment from past experiences so it does not suck up your life force energy and make you feel like you are the one in prison. I hope this clarifies some things for you . I am sending all kinds of good energy 😉

      1. It’s more difficult than that. I have been taught to always forgive my family, but they are the ones that hurt me the most. They are back stabbers and liars. Family is supposed to be there for you when you need them. I forgive, because I love them. No matter what happens I love them and I am always there for them. How is it I keep getting hurt by them?! They don’t care what happens to me as long as they get something in return. They push me out and they never say they love me anymore. I have loved with an open heart, but my heart will soon be shutting down and going into lock down if this continues.

  2. I have been practicing this technique since it was posted. I dedicate yoga practices to forgiveness of someone. My question is how does one come to forgiveness completely when the other person is no longer talking to you and claims they have forgiven you over and over but, they are done having a relationship with you? I have searched high and low to find an answer to this. Forgiving myself over and over in hope that one day I will be free.

    1. Lauren-
      The end of a relationship does not mean lack of forgiveness. Some relationships are for your entire life and some are not. I think it is really making peace with and mourning the loss of the relationship that may help you most. If you can not do it on your own find a good therapist to help you work through it because you deserve to be free.
      love love love

  3. Hi Terri
    Thank you for your weekly tips and video clips.
    I’ve started a journey of self realisation since January when my relationship ended and the same time my whole job role was changed by my work management so it was out of my hands. I have been placed in a situation where my new boss is very controlling and wants the power over my work and I’m finding this very challenging. I’m trying to forgive him through meditation and prayer daily but it is making me resentful and defensive which is also not what I want to feel either. How can I release these feelings or do I have to be patient and keep trying? I know this is part of my life assignment at the moment but I feel I’m not getting anywhere. Thank you for your website which has really helped me in the last few months.

    1. Sharlie-
      Thanks for the question. I think you might need to get clarity with your boss on whose is responsible for what. If you get role clarity it might make it easier to be independent. You can work on being unoffend-able and by keeping it all business. It is not personal-if he oversteps a clear boundary that is in your job description, you can ask him why-without being defensive. All about clarity and not writing a script but if he is a total control freak and you are unhappy after you try the suggestions maybe the lesson is to know when to move on…
      love love love

  4. Terri! Thank you! This is so huge right now, *& not only for me but other people in my life- interesting how this has been popping up so so much lately- obviously something I need to hear. Funny about what I struggle with right now- not BIG matters from the past but simple things & grudges to others that I’m quite sure did not even mean to hurt me in the way I am feeling. Almost more of a jealousy thing for me, holding resentment to others that have things in their lives that I have not been able to achieve , manifest. Is this a completely different thing separate from the forgiveness you’re talking about?

    1. Laura-
      Thank you for your insightful question. what you are describing is jealously that leads to resentment. No one else has what you want or need because What is FOR you will not PASS you. so focus on what you DO have and when you see someone who has what you desire feel gratitude and say to yourself, ‘Good for them…I am next’ and feel the feelings of having what you seek….keep us posted!
      love love love

  5. this post couldn’t be more timely for me. I admit that I often lose sight of the fact that forgiveness is for me – not to comfort the person who I feel wronged me. It allows me to release the negativity and hurt , learn and move forward in a positive manner. Thanks for reminding me that forgiveness is good….and for me.

  6. Great topic! Something I certainly needed to hear…I struggle with forgiveness a lot not only of others but of myself. I can’t wait to try the exercises you recommended. Thank you Terri

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