This week, I would like to share an exercise I learned about two years ago from Dr. Deepak Chopra, designed to help you shift your perspective on an argument or long held grievance.

1. Bring the Situation into Your Mind

It doesn’t matter whether it’s an argument you just had or a story you have been rocking for twenty years—if it conjures up tension, constriction, and heated emotions, let’s work on it now. (You can repeat this exercise as many times as you need depending on how many of these scenarios you want to release.)

2. Be a New York Times Investigative Reporter

You have your story. You know why you think this person is an idiot and was so wrong and why you are the victim. I invite you to become a great journalist who will interview you and the other party, carefully listening to both sides of the tale and looking at each person’s perspective.

And like that journalist, you are going to take copious notes and actually write both perspectives and tell both stories.

3. Make a Judgment Call

Upon reviewing the stories, did your perspective shift? Are you able to bring some understanding into the scenario?


When I did this exercise (I did it three times), I had a profound shift, and I found it extremely liberating to release the need to be totally right. To be able to see the humanness in the other person makes it much easier to move into forgiveness. Holding onto self-righteous anger takes energy, and you don’t need it. It does not serve your higher purpose; it only serves to create constriction and breed more anger and resentment, potentially seeping into relationships not associated with the original injury.

I am interested to know if you will take some time to do this exercise. Why would you or wouldn’t you? When you do this exercise, what did you notice? Please share!

I hope you have an amazing, expansive week and, as always, take care of you.

Love Love Love


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  1. Yes the exercise helped me to see that I had not thought about how the other party could have seen my words as taking advantage of them. that I wanted things my way and that I had changed my perspective in the friendship mid-way. I could see why they quit talking to me.

    1. Terry-
      I hope the exercise added value. Self knowledge gives us the power to make changes that will elevate the satisfaction in life and relationships. Thanks for being here with us and sharing your experience.

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