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“Whether it’s conscious or unconscious, people are always trying to develop behaviors to either mask negative core beliefs about themselves from other people or to compensate for them.” – Noelle McWard Aquino
Intro
Anxiety doesn’t always look like fear — sometimes it looks like control, perfectionism, people pleasing, and doing everything “right.” In this episode of The Terri Cole Show, I explore the types of anxiety that often hide beneath high-functioning behaviors, codependency, and the struggle to set healthy boundaries.
I sit down with anxiety expert Noelle McWard Aquino to explain how anxiety can show up as catastrophizing, control, and distorted beliefs about ourselves. We talk about why high-functioning anxiety can look like success, how overthinking keeps us stuck, and why trying to control everything may actually be a sign that we don’t feel safe.
Understanding your types of anxiety can help you recognize your patterns, create healthier boundaries, and learn how to respond differently instead of being driven by fear.
If you struggle with people pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, self-doubt, or feeling responsible for everyone and everything, this conversation will help you understand the deeper roots of anxiety and begin your emotional healing journey.
Highlights:
- 00:00 The 3 Types of Anxiety Explained
- 00:30 Why Most Anxiety Is Misunderstood
- 08:20 Why Catastrophizing Leads to Rumination
- 16:30 Why Your Brain Looks for Proof You’re Not Enough
- 22:30 The “What If” Exercise That Reduces Anxiety
- 30:20 The Hidden Cost of Negative Self-Talk
- 38:00 People Pleasing, Boundaries & Healthy Relationships
- 39:50 Where to Find Noelle McWard Aquino
Connect with Noelle McWard Aquino
Noelle McWard Aquino is a therapist practicing in Chicago, IL, with more than 30 years of experience specializing in the treatment of anxiety disorders. She is a therapist,educator, and author of the book Anxiety Unpacked: Discover Your Type and Recover Your Peace, published in 2025. She is also the mother of a young adult son who has lived with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder for most of his life
Website: https://noellemcwardaquino.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/noellemcwardaquino/
Resources to Support Your Journey
JOIN THE TERRI COLE MEMBERSHIP: This is my inner circle for real-time transformation. Join us for weekly live coaching including Deep-Dive Workshops, Q&A Sessions, and Exclusive Guest Interviews designed to help you integrate these lessons and master your life. https://terricole.com/tcm
THE BOOK LIBRARY:
- The Father Wound (New!): Heal your past and reclaim your future with my latest guide. https://fatherwoundbook.com
- Too Much: A Guide to High-Functioning Codependency. Break the cycle of over-functioning and find your balance. https://hfcbook.com
- Boundary Boss: The essential guidebook for authentically expressing your desires and setting healthy limits. https://boundarybossbook.com
TAKE THE BOUNDARY STYLE QUIZ: Awareness is the first step to change. Take the quiz to discover your unique boundary style. https://boundaryquiz.com
FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM: Come say hi! I share daily insights, inspiration, and behind-the-scenes content every single day. https://terricole.com/ig
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