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“Our fear of abandonment gets triggered really hardcore when we think about telling someone ‘no’ or being separate from them. We have to get rid of the fear that standing up for ourselves and speaking our truth is going to push people away.” – Rikki Cloos
Intro
Today I’m sharing a fascinating conversation with Rikki Cloos. Rikki is a writer and content creator with a captivatingly authentic passion for attachment healing.
She shares insights and stories about anxious attachment from her own life: How anxious attachment behaviors can damage relationships, how you can stop those habits with work and understanding, and why it can make it so difficult to set healthy boundaries if you are prone to being anxiously attached.
Highlights:
- 04:45 Why now is the right time for How to Be Loving: As Your Heart Is Breaking Open and Our World Is Waking Up
- 07:10 How the pandemic allowed danielle to consider her mortality and reconsider her desires
- 13:40 Identifying yourself truthfully
- 17:20 Reverence is the medicine for the pain of separation
- 20:55 How tending to your body and your nervous system can be a spiritual practice
- 23:20 Becoming a healer to yourself and others
- 29:00 Regaining the capacity for nuance when you’re thinking in black and white
- 34:20 Danielle’s most challenging boundary struggle
Connect with Rikki Cloos:
Rikki Cloos is a writer and content creator with a captivating authenticity and passion for attachment healing.
Her mission is to help others heal their anxious attachment and create more secure relationships. She is the writer and content creator behind @AnxiousHeartsGuide, a community of 100,000+ on Instagram. What started as a research project to help transform her own relationships from rock bottom has blossomed into a community and collective global audience of over 170,000 anxious hearts. Her goal is to help others improve their relationships by writing about attachment healing in a manner that is easy to understand and implement.
Rikki’s involvement with the psych and self-help community online inspired her to write the book that she would have needed years ago. Her book, The Anxious Hearts Guide – which has already sold thousands of copies in 13+ countries – is an approachable, accessible, and enlightening window into why we do the frustrating things that we do to chase love and how to rise above it.
You can follow her on Instagram or Tiktok @anxiousheartsguide
Here are some ways we can connect and grow together:
I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT BOUNDARIES! Boundary Boss is THE essential guidebook for authentically expressing your desires, setting healthy limits, and bringing more satisfaction, joy, and peace into all of your personal and professional relationships. There are super JUICY bonuses when you pre-order, so what are you waiting for?
TAKE THE BOUNDARY STYLE QUIZ I always say, ya can’t change anything until you become aware of it, so take the quiz and discover your unique boundary style!
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