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“Many clients have said to me, ‘I like to feel needed.’ But when you push your help on someone, are you really needed? Or are you serving your own desire to feel that way?”
– Terri Cole

Intro

Are you a natural-born helper? Are you someone who is always willing to lend a hand or advice even if no one asked? Does it feel like your helping is on auto-pilot or even compulsive?

Do you ever wonder if there are times when helping maybe…isn’t that helpful?

In this episode, I’m breaking down what constitutes unhealthy helping. You’ll also learn what you can do so you can get back some of your bandwidth and increase your potential for intimacy and authentic connection with the people in your life.

Highlights:

• Raise your awareness of some kinds of unhelpful helping
  • 02:50 Unsolicited advice-giving
  • 03:35 Constant checking in
  • 03:40 Excessive soothing
  • 04:10 Auto-fixing
• 04:50 Distinguish between being helpful and feeling needed
• 08:17 Is helping a compulsive reaction for you?
• 12:30 Consider how you feel when you receive unsolicited help
• 14:40 What does unhelpful helping allow you to avoid?
• 17:45 Understand why you auto-fix, build new boundaries, and heal from codependency

Links Mentioned:

Find the downloadable guide I made to go along with today’s episode here.

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