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“Find ways to support current ‘you’ and future ‘you’ instead of beating past ‘you’ up.” – Tricia Huffman


Tricia (also known online as Your Joyologist) is an ex rock-and-roll roadie and current life coach, podcast host, author, and speaker who I’ve known for at least a decade now. We chat about all the ways it’s unhealthy to hold ourselves to “shoulds” instead of acting on our true wants. If you sometimes struggle with shame, guilt, and rumination over what you could have done differently in the past, Tricia has some advice for you in today’s episode.


  • 03:10 How the loss of her father inspired Tricia to say no to shoulds
  • 07:36 How “should”ing contributes to unhealthy relationship dynamics
  • 08:39 Advice for people who get stuck in shame and guilt about the past
  • 11:58 Distinguishing fear from intuition
  • 15:53 How shoulds can prevent you from knowing yourself
  • 17:38 Are you judging yourself on behalf of the world?
  • 24:40 Processing loss and suffering without toxic positivity
  • 30:00 The power of giving ourselves permission to like what we like

Connect with Tricia Huffman:

Tricia Huffman is a podcast host, speaker, Manager of Integrity to Grammy Award-winning artists, and founder of Your Joyologist. While living out her first dream as a touring sound engineer, she saw that everyone, including the people we think “have it all,” often don’t feel fulfilled and fight doubts, worries, and compare themselves to others daily. With her unique background and knowledge in self-care and wellness, she first created her Joyology to keep artists healthy, grounded, and inspired in body and mind while on tour. She now spreads her mission to claim joy daily via her empowering social media posts, real talk podcast, coaching work, product line, Own Your Awesome daily inspiration app, and everything that she does.

She is based in Los Angeles, where she is raising her strong-willed, independent, creative daughters and F-ing the shoulds while claiming joy daily.

You can learn more about Tricia and her work at, @_triciahuffman,, and @yourjoyologist, and subscribe to her Claim It! podcast.

Here are some ways we can connect and grow together:

I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT BOUNDARIES! Boundary Boss is THE essential guidebook for authentically expressing your desires, setting healthy limits and bringing more satisfaction, joy and peace into all of your personal and professional relationships. There are super JUICY bonuses when you pre-order, so what are you waiting for?

TAKE THE BOUNDARY STYLE QUIZ I always say, ya can’t change anything until you become aware of it, so take the quiz and discover your unique boundary style!

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