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“Over-giving is about trying to avoid disaster: It’s about trying to control outcomes. But when you really think about what we’re doing, we are centering ourselves in someone else’s situation when it isn’t really ours to fix.” – Terri Cole



Are you confused about what it means to be codependent? Do you ever wonder what codependency looks like in practice?

If you’re nodding your head yes, that’s understandable. In my experience, there is often confusion around the topic of codependency, with a ton of misconceptions and a plethora of myths clouding up what it looks like in real life. 

In today’s episode, I’m delivering rock-solid clarity about what codependency is by showing you what it’s not. Ready for some major myth-busting?! Let’s go!


  • 02:26 Codependency doesn’t only happen to women
  • 02:45 Codependency is not an illness
  • 03:04 Codependency can occur in relationships whether someone abuses substances or not
  • 03:44 Codependency occurs in both romantic and non-romantic relationships
  • 04:48 There is a spectrum of codependent behaviors
  • 05:12 Codependency can have serious consequences
  • 06:20 Codependency is a covert or overt bid for control
  • 07:04 You can help others healthily without being codependent
  • 08:02 Recovering from codependency doesn’t mean you need to be mean
  • 08:56 Codependency is about boundaries, not weakness or strength
  • 10:01 You can start to develop codependent behaviors at any age
  • 11:19 The real red flags for codependency

Links Mentioned:

If you’re ready to go deeper and you really want to get on the road to recovery from codependency, the virtual course I’m teaching with Mark Groves in November, Crushing Codependency, might be for you!

Check out the downloadable guide to go along with today’s episode here.

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  1. The family quote is Tolstoy–from Anna Karenina–first sentence:
    “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

    Love TC!!

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