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“Remember, every adult friendship in your life is voluntary. ” – Terri Cole


Have you ever had a friendship that felt more like romantic relationships because the person acted possessive and jealous of your other friends? Or what about the frenemy who you hesitate to tell good news to because deep down you know they will feel competitive and envious rather than happy for you?

It can be super complicated! If you’re nodding your head yes, then this episode is for you. I’m handling everything that makes up the complex world of boundaries in friendships.


  • 02:41 Have you had THE friendship conversation?
  • 03:12 Decoding your friendship problems
  • 05:21 What do you repeat in your relationships?
  • 07:29 How our family of origin impacts our relationships
  • 11:25 Overcoming a toxic friendship
  • 14:02 You get to choose who is in your life

Links Mentioned:

Grab Your Boundaries + Friendship Guide Here.

Take the boundary quiz and learn more about your Boundary Style

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TAKE THE BOUNDARY STYLE QUIZ I always say, ya can’t change anything until you become aware of it, so take the quiz and discover your unique boundary style!

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  1. I loved this podcast (and all of your podcasts I’ve listened to since recently discovering your work). I feel so understood when listening to you as though you have lived my life alongside me and know my soul. Definitely a soul sisterhood! Thank you so much for all of your wisdom offering! I had our library order your book as soon as I heard it was coming out and was the first to check it out. I’ve renewed it and keep taking notes. I love the quotes you offer in there as well.

    In this podcast I resonated with your comment of how not every relationship will be a “lifer’. I don’t have to feel guilty for taking care of me! My life, my boundaries and others’ opinions about the exclusions really say more about them than me and my needs You are so empowering.

    I also like your reference to “Family of Origin”. I have used this term speaking to a doctor of mine in the past and they had mentioned they felt that was a strange way to refer to them. I don’t! Family I have ‘built” is different altogether from family of origin. I’ve always called the latter: “FOO”

    I could go on and on. I am definitely a follower of all of your offerings as able! Thanks a million!

  2. I just listened to the recording about friendships and I noticed that when you mentioned friendships with women you were assuming that they were not romantic. I also attended your next generation two hour zoom meeting and as a queer woman I came away feeling kind of lonely, as if I don’t fit in the boat that you are creating. I trust your intention enough to let you know this because I believe you are somebody who would like to make a space for everyone regardless of sexual orientation. And by the way I totally appreciated the racial diversity in your zoom call! I just wish there had been some representation or acknowledgement of queer/non-binary folks. I hope this feedback can be received in the spirit that it is offered which is not meant to judge, just to widen the audience that can benefit .Thank you for your work!

    1. Nic-
      Your feedback is received with the loving spirit you sent it with. I appreciate you taking the time as I am always working on being more inclusive so thank you! You absolutely fit in the boat I am building ❤️. Grateful you are here with us!

  3. It has taken more than a decade but I finally get that the sh*thole place I am presently living In is rife w people who have NOT been raised properly, have no intention of expanding their consciousness and generally are miserable people who gain their self worth by cutting others down. I kept hoping I was wrong but I am not wrong. Time to go where I am welcome AND celebrated. Getting rid of the jealous/ envious people.

    1. Hi Patricia,
      Thank you for sharing and for being here. I’m holding space for you as you continue your journey toward self-love and positive boundaries with friends ❤️

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